The Fire and The Dandelion
by Fanficfanny
Summary: Katniss chose Gale instead of Peeta, but fire and fire does not work together and Katniss can't live with Gale anymore, she escapes and goes back home to Peeta and Haymitch, but can everything just go back to normal, or has Peeta moved on? Authors Note: I suck at summaries, but please read and review :D
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone!**

**Thanx for checking this out. Hope you'll like it, I'm working on "Happily ever after?" at the same time, and I'm planning this to be a small project, with only a few chapters, but I hope you'll enjoy it.**

**It's not to the Galeniss fans out there, I think Gale is an okay person, but this story would be nothing without him like this… **

**Yeah, please, feel free to review! :D **

* * *

"Catnip, are you here?" he asked me, when he stepped in to Minna's and Joel's house. I got scared and looked at Minna; she looked almost as scared as me. She knew that he would hit me when we got home, because I had told her, but we didn't talk about it, she was my neighbor and only friend.

"Yes, I'm here." I answered, trying to keep my voice strong. He comes in to the room and looks at us.

"I'm really sorry Minna, but I have to take my wife home with me." Gale said with a smile.

"Of course." She answered and looked away. I stepped up from the table and put my jacket on, when I got outside the door, I got scared. We walked home in silence, I didn't want to break the silence, and neither did he. When we got home I walked directly in to our living room, I heard him walking behind me and when I turned around to face him, he hit me in the face. First I got a little shocked, but I was used to it.

"You know you can't leave the house without me." He said to me, and took a step closer, I started to back off, but I hit the wall, he came even closer and grabbed my face between his hands, he made me look at him. He pressed his lips against mine, roughly. I hated it and tried to turn my head away, and felt that he hit me in the face again. I had no other option than obey. He started kissing me, and after a while he lifted me up and carried me to the couch, his hands were rough and violent when he ripped of my shirt, I couldn't do anything, because then he would hit me.

He more or less raped me over and over again, it happened almost every week, and I was used to that too, I was taking birth control pills, because he did nothing to prevent a pregnancy. I even got pregnant once, but I took some pills for that too. I didn't want children, and I definitely not wanted his children.

* * *

That night I was thinking, what if I would have chosen Peeta instead of Gale; he would never hurt me, never ever. Peeta was my dandelion, the boy with the bread, and I missed him so much. I wanted to see him again, but it had been three years, and he probably had moved on, maybe he was married, even had a child…

The next day when Gale went to work I knew what I had to do, I went over to Minna to tell her, when I came there she came to meet me.

"Hi, how are… your cheek, it's so red and your eye…" she looked at me, very concerned. "What did he do to you?" she asked.

"He hit me a couple of times and then he raped me…" I said quietly. She looked at me. "But that's one of the reasons I'm here." I said, "What do you think if I say I'm thinking about moving back to twelve?" I asked her. She looked shocked, but then she smiled.

"I'd say that you are a very smart person." She said and hugged me. I hugged her back and then I heard Ida and Melinda come in to the room. Ida and Melinda are Minna's and Joel's twin girls, they are 5 years old now, and they are almost always happy.

"Hi Katniss." Ida said and smiled at me.

"Hi girls." I said with smile.

"What has happened to your face?" Melinda asks and looks worried, I feel like their aunt sometimes, because I go there almost every day.

"Melinda! That's not very polite to ask." Minna said.

"No, it's okay. I walked in to a door." I said with a little laugh.

"You didn't see the door?" Ida asked and they giggled a little.

"I'm just really clumsy sometimes." I said. The girls smiled and started to walk towards their room. This family was the only thing I was going to miss from 2, but I would call them, because nothing could make me stay here with Gale anymore.

"What if he comes after me?" I asked.

"You'll be cared about and protected back home in 12." I had told her everything about Peeta and Haymitch, Minna knew all about Prim and my mother and basically she knew almost everything about me.

"I hope you're right."

"Are you going to call them now before you come?" It had been three years since I had heard from them the last time, three years since I had talked to anyone from home, I wasn't allowed to call anyone or meet anyone right now, hadn't been the past two years.

"Do you think I should?" I asked her.

"Call Haymitch, tell him that you're coming home."

"I will, but can I borrow your phone, because if Gale sees that I have been calling home…"

"Of course." I went to the kitchen and pressed in the number, I had it printed in my head, and I had no idea why.

"Hello?" Haymitch answered, he sounded drunk, but that wasn't a surprise.

"Haymitch?" I asked even though I knew it was him.

"Who is this?" he asked, he didn't recognize my voice, but I wasn't surprised, maybe thay had all forgotten me.

"It is Katniss…" I said; he got silent for a couple of minutes.

"Is it really you?" he asked.

"Yes, it me." I said and felt the tears coming to my eyes, just by hearing his voice.

"How are you sweetheart?" he asked me, and he honestly sounded concerned.

"Not good, I want to come home." I said and the tears started falling down my cheeks, I felt Minna's hand rubbing my back.

"Then come home." He said it like it was obvious.

"I will, but it's not that easy…" I said and my voice trailed off.

"And why is it so hard?" he asked me. I told him all about how Gale was beating me every time I did something he thought was wrong, or even if he had a bad day and came home and I was standing in the kitchen, he could hit me for 'standing in his way' Haymitch was silent and listened to what I was telling him, when I ended the 'story' he remained silent for a few seconds, I almost thought he had hang up, when he said;

"Your house is exactly where you left it, you are welcome back home." He said, and I got very happy.

"I'll come as soon as I can, maybe in the end of this week."

"Good, eh… Do you want me to tell Peeta?" he asked.

"No, please don't, I want to surprise him." In real I just thought I would disappoint him if he was expecting me, then he would expect to see the young, healthy woman that left a couple of years ago, but meet a hurt, beaten, peel woman with big dark bags under her eyes. "How is he doing?" I asked Haymitch.

"Eh… Quite good, he made it out of his house about a year ago, he has rebuilt the bakery, and…"

"A year ago?! What took him so much time?"

"You know, that boy really loved you, it took him a while to get over you." He said.

"But is he over me now?" I asked, I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer.

"Yes… he has a girlfriend." I should be happy for him, that he has moved on, I left him for Gale and all, but it feels wrong. I completely understand, but still I feel how there's coming more tears to my eyes, and they slowly runs down my cheeks.

"Good, that's good for him." I say, but my voice is shaky. "I have to go now, see you Haymitch." I said.

"See you sweetheart." He said. I turned around and fell into Minna's arms; she rubs my back and tries to calm me down while I'm crying. I don't even know why I am crying, it should be a good thing that Peeta has moved on, that's what I always wanted, but now I want him to be mine again, I want him to hold me and kiss me, and love, as he always did. _Always_. That was what he said to me, but I let him down, and it was nothing more than right that he went on with his life.

After a while I calmed down and explained it all to Minna, she didn't say anything, she was just there for me. I took a deep breath.

"I should not cry, I wanted this, I wanted him to move on and be happy, I anyway didn't deserve him."

"But it is understandable why you are feeling that way, he loved you and you two had a lot of memories together, and at some point in life, you loved him too…" she said. We sit there in silence for a few more minutes.

"I have to go, buy a train ticket now." I said when I saw that Gale would be home in two hours, and if he was early he would see that I wasn't home when he got there, and then he would beat me up when I came home.

"Of course, be careful, and take care of you." Minna said.

"I'll try to…"

"Don't forget to come here and say goodbye before you leave."

"Of course not." I said and left.

* * *

I went to town to buy the ticket. When I came to the train station there was an old man selling me the ticket.

"Hi, when does the next train to district 12 leave?" I asked him.

"There goes one tomorrow, but that train will make a stop in every district, and there will be one leaving in three days." He said.

"I would want to go with the one that leaves in three days." I said

"That's 250, please." I paid him the money and he gave me the ticket.

"But… I recognize you…." He said when I was about to leave, it wasn't a surprise, almost everyone recognized me. "You are the mockingjay, the girl on fire… what was her name again…"he mumbled the last part to himself.

"Katni…" he cut me off.

"Katniss, Katniss Everdeen."

"Yes, that's me." I said and tried to smile.

"I want to thank you, I'm from district 7, and my name is Elis."

"How nice to meet you Elis, but I'm sorry, I have to go now."

"Oh, of course." He said and smiled at me. When I walked towards mine and Gales house it started raining, I got home, and about ten minutes later Gale arrived, he got in to the house and stopped to stare at my hair.

"Have you been out?" he asked me.

"No… no I have just showered." I said, I saw in his eyes that he didn't believe me.

"With you shoes on?" he asked me when he saw that they were wet too. I just looked down at the floor. He came towards me and slapped me in the face, I felt a taste of blood in my mouth and it stung after his hit.

"You know you can't leave the house without me!" he screamed, but today I didn't felt like taking shit.

"And why not, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself!" I yelled back at him. He hit me again but now I slapped him back. I saw how his eyes were filled with rage when he started walking toward me.

"You would be nothing without me." He said and grabbed my wrist, he squeezed really hard and I yelled out in pain. I heard something crack inside of my hand, and guessed that something was broken.

* * *

Three days felt like a very long time, after our 'fight' I had to do something about my hand, I took some bandage and tried to fix it so it would support my hand a little so I could at least use it. It hurt a lot but I didn't care.

The morning of the day when I was about to leave I heard when Gale got up to make himself ready for work, he put some clothes on and then I heard him walk downstairs to make breakfast and then he would leave.

When I heard the door shut behind him I flew up from my bed and started packing my things, I put all my stuff down to different bags and carried it all downstairs. I went to the working room and pulled out a pen and a paper.

_Gale_

_When you read this I have left you, I can't live any longer being beaten every day. I loved my friend Gale, the man I would go out hunting with on Sundays, the man who was like my brother and who I in the end fell in love with, but my feelings has faded through the years, and I can't live here any longer. I need to get out in the forest, and I don't belong here in district 2._

_I'm really sorry Gale, but I'm going home.  
Don't come to look for me, because I won't come back, thank you for the first year._

_Katniss_

I took off my ring and put it at the paper; I left them at the dinner table so that he would find them when he came home. And then I left. I run over and said goodbye to Minna, Ida and Melinda and then I made my way to the train station, away from district two, I was going home.

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**Yeah, first chapter, hope you guys liked it, please review what you think, and check out my other fanfic too (Happily ever after?) :D**

**It feels horrible to make Gale a person like this, and I know that he would never do this for real, but it had to be someone… Hope that you don't hate me ^^**

**LOL (=Lots Of Love) to everyone! :D**

**/FanficFanny :P**


	2. Chapter 2

** Thanx everyone who has reviewed/favorite/followed this story, Love you guys, got so happy when I woke up in the morning and checked my e-mail and had about 10 new followers/favorites…  
Please review! I love the little comments I get from you guys, really inspires me :D**

**Please check out my other story too :)**

**(The ****_italic_**** means that it is a flashback.) :D**

* * *

I came in to the train, someone took care of my bags, and I sat down at a window place, the train rolled off the station, I looked out the window when I left district 2, never to go back. And I would get to meet Peeta, and Haymitch.

Tomorrow I would come home, I would go to my house in the Victors village, and I would be able to live.

When I left with Gale everything was okay. I loved him he loved me. But it took only a year before he changed.

_"I'm sorry." I said silently._

_"No, it's okay, if he makes you happy, you should go with him." Peeta said, but I saw the tears in his eyes, he wouldn't let them fall though. I rose up from my chair and Peeta did the same, I walked over to him and hugged him, one last time. I wanted to tell him that I would miss him, but it would just make everything worse._

_"I should go now." I said with a shaky voice, when I pulled back from the hug, I looked in to his beautiful blue eyes._

_"Goodbye." He said, and I could tell he almost started crying right there._

_"Goodbye Peeta." I said and turned him the back and started to walk away._

_"Katniss." I turned around and saw him struggle a little with the words, and that was very unusual. "Take care of you." He said, I nodded, because I didn't want to break down and start crying right there in front of him. But I wanted to be with Gale, he was the one for me._

_When I got home I packed my last things. When I took out my stuff from the nightstand box, I found the pearl that Peeta gave me in the Quarter Quell. I couldn't take it with me. It would just remind me about him, and I would leave this entire behind me now, start all over. I took the pearl and went to the living room, there was a big bookshelf, I put it there and looked at it once more before I went to get my bags._

_When I came outside Gale was waiting for me, we would walk the 15 minute walk to the little train station here in 12, and then we would move to 2, Gale had been offered a job there, and I wanted to go with him._

I moved to district 2 with Gale and everything was okay, about a half year later he proposed, and I said yes.

_We were eating dinner just like every evening, but today Gale seemed a little nervous, we chatted a little about his work, what I had done that day, that I had met our new neighbors Minna and Joel and their two year old twin girls. _

_After dinner I made the dishes, and I felt Gale's hands around me, I turned around and hugged him, he leaned down and I kissed him carefully at his mouth, he kissed me back. His kisses were hungry, and quite hard, I compared it to Peetas passionate, gentle kisses._

_Gale leaned out of the kiss first; he took a step back and looked at me. _

_"Katniss, there is something I would like to ask you." He said and looked a little nervous. It had to be serious when he didn't call me 'Catnip'._

_"Yes?" I said and looked at him. I saw his hand go to his pocket; he pulled out a little box. I didn't realize what he was doing before he went down to one knee. He opened the box, there was a ring. It was a golden ring, it had one little diamond at it, and it was very beautiful._

_"Will you marry me, Katniss Everdeen." He said and looked at me. His grey seam eyes were on fire, he was waiting for me to answer. I had never thought about getting married, everyone I loved, I lost, and I never wanted to get married, but before I had time to think I just answered;_

_"Yes, Gale I will marry you." I said. He got up from the floor, and then he kissed me, when we ended the kiss he put the ring on my finger. It was perfect._

I looked out the window, we were passing district 4 now, somewhere there Annie and her son lived. I hadn't talked to Annie in a very long time, because I wasn't allowed to call someone. But when I came home I would call her, and explain to her why I have not called her. It was slowly starting to get dark outside, but I was going to sit in this train for another day, so I could sleep whenever I wanted to.

Again I thought about the day when Gale proposed, that was before he changed. Back then he was the man I loved, but after a year, that man disappeared, and another side of Gale, a dark and depressed side, came out instead.

_Soon Gale would be home from work, for the past weeks he had been a little down, so today I had went I to town and bought some fresh meat. I cooked a stew and cleaned the house. When he came home he got in to the kitchen and sat down at his place. I put some stew at his plate, but he didn't eat._

_"Is something wrong?" I asked him. He muttered something with his head down. "You can tell me…" I said trying to get him in a better mood._

_"No I can't, because you'll just run over to Minna and tell her everything!" he said to me. I didn't know where his, or mine, anger came from._

_"What?" I asked him in a hard tone._

_"You should be here home, not run around in town." He said and looked angry._

_"Why not? They are my friends." I said. Why would he be like this, I didn't understand._

_"Well not anymore, you can't leave this house without me anymore!" he yelled at me. But I was the girl on fire, I wouldn't give up that easy._

_"I am not allowed to leave the house and have friends?!" I screamed._

_"No!" he said in a very hard tone to me. I stood up from my chair, and so did he. He walked over to me. "You should be home all day, not call anyone, and not talk to anyone." He shouted at me._

_"And why is that?" I asked him._

_"Because I'm being overprotective." He said to me, a little calmer._

_"It was okay before." I said; he blew up again._

_"But it isn't anymore!" he yelled._

_"Why?" I yelled back._

_"Because some peacekeepers are working undercover somewhere in district 2 now and no one is supposed to know about that, but I don't want you to be in danger."_

_"It has been okay until now. I don't think Minna and Joel would do that." I said, a little calmer._

_"What do you know about them?" he asked me._

_"They are my friends." I said and started to get angry again._

_"But you are still staying in the house." He said. I got mad at him sometimes. I looked away. "Look at me!" he screamed._

_"No." I said and turned my back to him, he grabbed my wrist and when I turned around he slapped me in the face. That was the very first time he hit me, but it definitely was not the last. _

That time we had both got surprised, and later that night he apologized to me. it went a couple of weeks, and the next time we argued he hit me again, after a few months I got used to it and I didn't accept his apologies anymore. I lived for two years, everyday being beaten by my husband.

I felt a tear escape and run down my cheek, I didn't understand it a t first, I thought I was over that now. I dried away the tear, but there came more. I was crying because I missed Gale. I didn't miss that abusive man, who hit me over and over again; I missed the man I hunted with, the man I married. But I would never get him back.

* * *

I woke up and my neck was hurting, because I sat in a very uncomfortable way. When I turned around I noticed that someone was sitting next to me. I opened my eyes and saw an older woman sitting there, she looked nice and she was smiling at me. I threw an eye at what time it was; 6:24am it showed. So in 4 hours I would be home, I looked out the window and it looked like district 10, but I wasn't sure. I looked at the old lady again.

"Good morning." She said to me.

"Good morning." I said back to her and she smiled, I saw that she was looking at my cheek and remembered that I probably still had the red marks and a black eye.

"I'm sorry, but are you Katniss?" she asked me. I didn't like that almost everyone knew me, but I just smiled and nodded. I shook her hand.

"Amy." She said and smiled again. She looked about 65-70 years old, her hair was grey, but her face was full of life, her eyes were a beautiful brown color, and she had a smile on her face constantly.

"Where are you going?" I asked her.

"I'm going to district 11, but I'm from district 5." She said and smiled a little, I smiled back at her, but it stung in my heart to hear 'district 11'. That was Rue's home, and I missed that little lovely girl so much.

The next hours I spent talking to Amy, I ate some breakfast, and when Amy got off in district 11, it was just a few hours to go. I tried to prepare myself mentally to come back to 12. It would be something good to see Haymitch and Peeta, but the memories, my old home, it would remind me of Prim, and I had to be able to handle that.

When the train rolled in to the station in 12 I was the last one out of the train, I took by bags and slowly walked out of the train. I looked around me, twelve looked like… twelve, but not really, the coal dust was gone and many of the buildings were rebuilt. Then I saw a familiar face, there was a big crowd of people, but I couldn't stop myself from running through the crowd toward him. I run, I pushed people and when I got there I flung my arms around his neck.

He stank from alcohol and other stuff, but I didn't care, I hugged him so hard, and he hugged me back. I started to sob against his shoulder.

"So sweetheart, calm down." He said to me.

"Oh, Haymitch, I've missed you so much." I said through the tears, he laughed a little, but I knew he had missed me too. We stood there hugging each other in silence for a while.

"C'mon, you should get home." He said.

"Okay." I said and we started walking through town towards the Victory's Village. When we came there Haymitch walked with me to my house. When I came close enough I saw the Primroses outside my house and felt the tears coming. Peeta had planted them for me. I walked over to the beautiful flowers and sat down next to them. I carefully touched one of the flowers and a tear run down my cheek. I cried a lot today, but I told myself it was understandable.

After a while I got up and walked back to Haymitch, he walked ahead of me and unlocked the door. I had lost my own key, but he still had a key to my house. He let me walk in before him. When I came in I stopped. Nothing had changed in three years, no one had been there, and everything was exactly where I left it. I walked in to the kitchen and looked myself around.

I remembered the pearl and run to the living room, it was exactly where I had left it; I took it in my hand and kissed it. I backed a few steps and sat down at the sofa. The tears starts running again, but I just held my pearl. Haymitch came in to the room and looked at me. First he didn't understand, but then he saw what I was holding.

"Is that... the pearl he gave you in the Quarter Quell?" he asked, I nodded. "You have to be careful when you meet him, first; do you remember his episodes?" I nodded again so he continued, "he hasn't seen you in a very long time, and we don't know how that will affect him. And second; as I told you, he has a girlfriend now, so if he is a little…" I didn't want to think about that, but if I would meet him within a few hours, I could not just ignore that.

* * *

A while later Haymitch left me alone, I walked around in the house, remembering every detail of it. I had never felt like this was my home, until now. Now all of district 12 was my home. I was sitting in the kitchen drinking a glass of water; I had cleaned the house and packed up a little. I was staring out the window, and I saw someone walk at the road. I saw that it was a man, he had blonde hair and he was quite heavily built, he was very beautiful. Before my brain reacted, my body did, I dropped the glass and run outside.

"Peeta!" I screamed. He turned around to see who was screaming for him. I saw his confused look when he looked over at me.

"Katniss?" he asked, like he saw someone he thought was dead, and maybe it felt like that for him. Before I could think I started running toward him, he opened his arms and I crushed in to him with full force. He hugged me hard, and I hugged him back, somewhere far back in my head Haymitch words tried to get heard, but I ignored them. My tears started running again and I started sobbing, but it didn't matter.

He stepped back and looked at me with his beautiful, blue eyes, they were so deep, and I looked at him, trying to take in every part of his face.

"Is this a dream?" he whispered, I shook my head and tears fell down my cheeks, but I wasn't alone crying this time, he had tears falling down his face too, I wanted to dry them off, I didn't want to see tears in an angels face, I wanted to kiss him, and I wanted to tell him that I had missed him, but he had a girlfriend, and I was smart enough to not kiss him right there, maybe she was standing in Peetas house, watching us right now.

He hugged me again, and I hugged him back.

"This can't be real. It must be a dream." He whispered, most to himself I think, but I still said;

"It's not a dream Peeta, I'm here." He shouldn't be so happy to see me; he should yell at me for leaving him and then come back, right when his life found some balance again. But I was so happy too, I couldn't back off now.

I heard someone clear her throat behind me and I stepped back and turned around. There stood a woman, with long red-brown hair, blue eyes and a confused and maybe a little jealous face expression.

"Karen." Peeta said when he saw her, and then it came clear to me, this was Peetas girlfriend.

* * *

**Hope you liked it, I am quite happy about it, at least right now, when I look at it tomorrow I will probably regret that I published it. ;)**

**Please review! It means so much to me :D**

**LOL ;)**

**/FanficFanny**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanx for all the reviews :D Love you guys, even if I am a little disturbed according to someone… ;D  
When someone writes, for example; that I'm disturbed, or that my story is bad, I maybe care, maybe I don't depends on my mood that day, but please, if you write that, explain why… It makes things easier for me ;D**

**I was right, when I after the last chapter wrote that I'll probably change my mind about publishing it… Because now when I read it I don't like it, and I totally forgot about her broken hand… Sorry for that, I'll try to remember it in this chapter.**

**Now I'll just let you read!**

**Thank you! :D**

* * *

I didn't know what to say, it was awkward just standing there, she saw the tears in both mine and Peetas eyes. She looked at Peeta, and he would be explaining a lot to her that night, I saw it in her eyes.

"Are you Katniss Everdeen?" she asked me. I started nodding and would answer her, but Peeta was faster;

"It's really Katniss Hawthorne…" he said and I heard some kind of bitterness in his voice, I couldn't understand why, he had Karen now.

"No, it's not." I said quietly, I looked at him and his eyes widened.

"Anyway, it's an honor to meet you." She said, but I also saw that she was a little jealous, maybe she thought that I was going to take Peeta away from her, but how much I wanted that, I'd let them be together.

"It's very nice to see you too." I said and shook her hand. A couple of years ago my jealousy would have taken me over and I would have slapped her, but I had grown a lot in these years. She looked at my face and at my hand but I ignored it, I wasn't going to tell Peeta that I had been abused by Gale, it wouldn't make anything better.

"I'm sorry, but I think Peeta and I have to go now." She said and looked at Peeta, I didn't want him to leave, I met him the first time in years, and it was only for a few minutes, but I couldn't say that.

"Of course, have a nice evening." I said and smiled at Karen.

"You too." She said, then she took Peetas hand and walked away, I saw how they went in to their house. Right at that moment I wanted it to be me who walked away with him, but I couldn't think like that, she had him now, and I would not destroy that. I turned around and started to walk to my own house. When I came in I wanted to cry, I didn't know why. I didn't love Peeta did I? I had missed him, but I couldn't love him. I loved Prim and Gale, and they both left me. Prim didn't have a choice, and it was really I who left Gale, or what was left of him.

I couldn't love anymore, but I wanted to talk to Peeta, I wanted to talk about how our lives had been, and I wanted to apologize to him. I sat down at a chair and a tear fell down my cheek, I didn't know why, I was over emotional that day, and I started crying because of everything.

I wanted to talk to Peeta, hear his soft voice, and feel his strong arms hug me when I told him about Gale. That would never happen, Peeta could never know what I had been through with Gale, he would just get mad at Gale and it was not good, he was always so worried.

I walked around in my house, but at 11pm I started to feel sleepy so I went to the bedroom, I lie down at the bed. I wanted Peeta to be there holding me, just like under the Victory's tour. That would keep the nightmares away, but now I had to handle it on my own. After a while I fell asleep.

* * *

Two hours later I woke up from a nightmare. I was screaming and kicking and I had to deal with this on my own, I was used to nightmares, and it was nice to not have to control my emotions, if I woke Gale up by crying or screaming by a nightmare, he slapped me and told me to sleep. Now I just cried, I had dreamed that Gale had killed Prim, she had been sitting at a rock looking at a flower, and Gale walked over to her and choked her. I knew he would never kill anyone, but I was over emotional after moving back to twelve.

I got up from my bed; I didn't want to lie there staring in to the wall the rest of the night. I put on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, I knew where I was headed, I walked down the stairs out from the house and to the garden, I sat down by the primroses and watched them, they were really beautiful, there were a few yellow ones and a few blue and some red. I touched one and smelled it, it smelled good.

I sat there staring at the flowers, and felt the tears run down my cheeks, but Prim had a much better life now, I had to be happy and live for her. Peeta said that to me before I left with Gale. It was a little cold outside but I didn't care. I looked at the flowers for at least half an hour.

Suddenly I heard a door open and close again. I didn't look up, but I heard that it came from Peetas and Karen's house. To me it didn't matter, if it was Peeta, I would like to talk to him, and he has to know that I won't ruin everything he and Karen have built up, if it was Karen, I would still get to know her in some way…

"Hi, couldn't sleep?" Peeta asked me when he came close enough; I still didn't turn around though.

"Nightmare." I said. "You?" I didn't know why I asked, and my voice was cold, I had missed him so much, and I wanted to have a friend now.

"Couldn't sleep, too many thoughts in my head right now." I guessed that it was because of me moving back. He sat down next to me and I looked at him. He was really beautiful, his blue eyes were almost sparkling even if it was dark outside, his blonde hair had some curls sticking out here and there, and his little half smile was gorgeous. The smile faded and he looked away.

"What did you mean when you said that it's not Katniss Hawthorne? Did you never married?" he asked me, I didn't know how I would put this up, I couldn't tell him why I left Gale.

"No, we did got married…"

"But you didn't change your last name?" he tried. I shook my head.

"I left him." I said quietly. I felt his arm around me and it felt good, I wanted my Peeta back, and I more or less had him now, but I would never steal him from Karen, I didn't want him that way, at least not yet. After a while of silence he asked;

"What happened to your hand, and your face." He asked it carefully, again I didn't know what to say, I couldn't tell him the truth, and I couldn't say that I walked in to a door like I did to Melinda and Ida.

"Nothing, I… I tripped and fell…" I saw that he didn't believe it, but he didn't ask again. We were silent for a few more minutes, he still had his arm around me and I leaned against him.

"Why did you leave Gale?" Peeta suddenly asked.

"I didn't want to leave with him anymore." That was a part of the truth.

"But why did you left me for him in the first place then?" he asked me with a little harder voice, he was right; I never should have left him.

"Because I thought I loved him, and you have moved on too." I said, I didn't know why I became a little angry, because, he really was right.

"I took me two years Katniss, two years of depression before I could move on." He said and we both got up from the ground. I almost felt sick of guilt when he said that.

"You said it was okay."

"Of course I did," he said and we both got angrier "what would I have told you; stay here, don't go with him, he's a bad guy. If I would have said that, you would have gone mad at me." He was right again, about two things, that Gale was a bad guy, and that I would have been mad at him. "But Gale was no bad guy, he is a good guy. He could take care of you, better than I because of the hijacking and everything. He would never hurt you." He continued, and there, right there he was wrong.

"I should have stayed here." I said a little calmer, but I was still angry.

"Too late now?" he said and took a step towards me, as an automatic reflex I put my hands over my head and backed away to protect myself. Thanks to Gale, I was prepared that he would hit me when he walked towards me like that. I saw all his anger run away from him, when he saw my reaction.

"Why do you do like that?" he asked me now completely calm. I didn't answer, I just shook my head when new tears started to run down my face, and I didn't know why. For two years I had not been allowed to cry; so now I cried it all out in one day. Peeta looked at me when I put my hands to cover my face when I started crying more. "Your face, your hand… He used to hit you, didn't' he?" Peeta asked now with a whole new kind of anger. I just nodded as I started to cry more. I felt his arms around me again and he hugged me, I just cried against his shoulder.

After about 15 minutes of crying I calmed down.

"I didn't want you to know." I said.

"You should have told me. For how long did he hit you?" Peeta asked.

"I can tell you, but can we go inside?" he nodded and I went in, I made some tea and we both sat down in the living room, he at the sofa, and me in one of the armchairs.

"When we moved away from here, everything was good, we lived like any other couple, and after about half a year he proposed and a few months later, we got married." I looked at Peeta and his face was emotionless. "We had a normal life, our neighbors were my friends, and they, you and Haymitch are the only people who know about this."

"So you never told anyone?" Peeta asked. I shook my head.

"After a few months, we had a fight; he suddenly slapped me in the face. A few hours later he apologized, and nothing more with that, but after a while he started to do it more and more, and I learned to not accept his apologies. He would hit me when he came home from work and I had made something wrong. I wasn't allowed to leave the house, not to call anyone, not to talk to anyone. Every day I went to meet Minna and her family, but if he came home when I was gone I got punished. Sometimes he would just beat me up and sometimes he more or less raped me…" I said, Peeta looked disgusted.

"How could he do something like that?" he said with a shaky voice.

"I don't know." I said quietly, I looked at the clock and it was already 3:58am, Peeta would have to go home to Karen soon, and I would be left here alone with my nightmares. He saw that too and got up.

"I'm really sorry Katniss." He said when he started to walk to the door.

"It's definitely not your fault." I said. Before he left he hugged me.

"I've missed you Peeta." I whispered, I knew I shouldn't have done that, because he should be with Karen, not me, I didn't deserve him. But I couldn't stop myself.

"I've missed you too." He said and then he left. There I stood, alone in my big house. I had just made a lot of things worse for everyone. He took it very good, but what else could he do, go to district 2 and beat Gale up? I walked toward my bedroom, I wouldn't be able to sleep anymore that night, so I just lied there thinking about how much I had done wrong in my life, feeling sorry for myself.

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**This chapter is a little different from the other ones, it's a shorter too , hope you still like it. Love ya all guys, everyone who is reading this; thank you! :D**

**Please review, tell me what you think. ;D**

**Again; Thank you! :D**

**/FanficFanny**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi guys, thanx for reading! :D You're the best! Thanks so much for the reviews, got so happy when I got them ;D**

**Love you all! :)**

**Now I'll let you read this :P**

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When I woke up I had slept for almost an hour, but it was already 6:30 am, I didn't know what to do so I got up from bed and put some clothes on. I went down the stairs and sat down in the kitchen, it would taste really good with some of Peetas cheese buns that morning, but I really couldn't ask for them. I just sat there by the table thinking about last night, he took the news about Gale a lot better than I thought; he just left, without a word.

I wondered what Karen was thinking when he got back home tonight. But right at that moment, it really didn't matter. I looked out the window and saw that it would be good weather that day. It was sunny, and the birds were singing. I rose up from my place and left went upstairs, I searched through all my things before I found what I was looking for; my dad's hunting jacket and my hunting boots, I put them on and started walking towards the woods, this would be the first time in years I would feel completely free. When I came in to the forest I relaxed, I could do what I wanted out here, I walked a bit until I found the old tree with my bow and arrows; I took them and started walking through the forest.

After a while I shot a squirrel, it wasn't through the eye tough, but that I hit it at all was kind of a surprise to me. I hadn't been out hunting for a very long time. I walked a few more minutes before I came to place way too familiar to me, it was mine and gales rock. I slowly walked over there, almost as I expected him to jump out of the bushes suddenly, when I came there I sat down. This place had a lot of memories; the last time I was here was before I left to district 2 with Gale. I walked through the forest wondering if I should choose Gale or Peeta, but when I came here I felt it as a sign and we see how good that went.

I just sat there looking out over the forest for a while. I thought about Peeta and Karen. After last night I was sure that I couldn't live without Peeta, but he belonged to Karen now. I couldn't take away his happiness from him now when he had finally found it. She probably was the perfect woman for him; probably she wanted both marriage and children. But I couldn't help but feeling jealous, I had some sort of feelings for him; I wouldn't admit that though, I wasn't sure it was love, but it was something.

About half an hour later I got up and started walking through the forest again, I shot a rabbit, two birds and one more squirrel, the birds and the squirrel even was hit in the eye, so my hunting skills was still somewhere deep inside of me, buried. I started walking towards home, but I went through town. It was already around 10am so most people were at work. I saw the bakery and just had to go there, the moment I opened the door I regret it, I saw Peeta kissing Karen. At that moment I felt sick, but if I would close the door and walk away it would be too obvious that I hated that scene. I went inside and they stopped kissing, both looking at me.

"Hi Katniss, what are you doing here?" Peeta asked me with a little smile.

"I… eh… I wanted to buy some cheese buns…" I said, that was a little true, I loved his cheese buns, so that was a safe shot. He smiled at me, probably remembering that I loved them.

"I'll fix that for you, just wait here." He said and disappeared in to the bakery. Karen still stood there looking after him. Then she turned around and started walking towards me. She came quite close before she started talking.

"I like you Katniss, I always have…"

"Okay…" was the only answer I could come up with.

"I think you are brave and strong, but…" of course there was a 'but'. "…if you try to destroy between me and Peeta, I'm going to kill you." I got really shocked by her words, I couldn't believe my ears, I would never do that, and she really had to love him a lot, but did she really threaten me? I had been through a lot in my life, but I wasn't afraid of her.

"I would never do that, he told me that it had taken a lot of time for him to recover, from what I did to him, and if you two are happy together, then I respect that." I said as calmly as possible, she immediately smiled at me.

"Then you and me will be great friends." I was so confused at that moment, so she was a fake. I couldn't tell Peeta that. He would get beyond angry with me if I told him his girlfriend was a fake. But he couldn't live with her, she hated me at one moment, and then she liked me… I didn't know what to do so I just stood there. Peeta came to me with a little box with cheese buns, and first then I woke up. I smiled at him.

"Thank you. I have missed these." I said pointing at the box, he laughed a little.

"Yeah, you truly loved them huh?" he asked, I just nodded. When I looked at Karen she didn't look too happy over our common memories.

"But, I have to leave now, going to meet Greasy Sae now too… If the two of you don't want some fresh meat."

"What do you have?" Peeta said, I smiled and took my game bag and opened it, I took out one of the squirrels and showed him.

"Still, shot through the eye…" he said and smiled, I smiled back, he was so easy to be with, I looked in to his eyes and I saw in his eyes that he wanted to talk about last night, but he couldn't because Karen was there. When I looked in to those beautiful blue eyes I just wanted to feel his strong, warm arms around me, but I think Karen literally would have slit up throat if I hugged him now.

"Do you want a bird or two too?" I asked and lifted up one of them.

"Yes please." He said and smiled again, it was a very cute half smile, but I wasn't allowed to think like that! He wasn't mine!

"I can drop them at your house when I come home." I said.

"Thank you, that would be very nice." I smiled again and walked out of there. I actually went to see Sae, when I came there, she didn't believe her eyes. She looked at me.

"Katniss? Is that you?" she asked, when I nodded she hugged me. She lived in a cute little house with her granddaughter that was about 10 years old. I gave her one of the birds, the rabbit and the other squirrel; she got happy when she got them. I sat down at her house for a while and we talked a little.

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I opened the door to Peetas and Karen's house and went in, the door was unlocked, but the key was hanging next to the door. When I got in it smelled like Peetas house always had, like something was new baked. I went in to the kitchen and put the squirrel and the bird in the sink, they could take care of them by themselves. I couldn't stop myself, before I knew it, I was walking up the stairs, I quickly looked in to their bedroom, but when I started to think about what they maybe did in there I fast moved on to the next room.

It was one of the old guest rooms, but obviously it was used as Peetas painting room, his paintings were so beautiful, he painted everything. I already knew he painted his dreams, both good and bad, and back then, he painted me, but now I saw different pictures of forests, flowers, a deer, one of Karen, and there, behind a lot of other pictures, me. I didn't want to look at them anymore; I walked out of the room, down the stairs and out of the house, on my way over to my own house I met Karen.

"Hi, I left the meat in the sink." I said, a little unsecure of myself.

"Thank you, the is so good, and Peeta makes an awesome stew." She said with a smile. I was still as shocked by this woman, one moment she loved me, then she hated me, and now she seemed to like me again. I just smiled back at her. "But Katniss, remember what I said." I just nodded and started walking towards my house.

She wasn't good for Peeta, she was a fake, but he would hate me if I said it to him, I should show it to him somehow, but I didn't know how. I couldn't destroy his relationship, but if I told him about her, he would think that I'm lying because of jealousy. I would just let it be, he would figure it out sooner or later. I got to my house and walked in, I went to the kitchen and started to make dinner to myself, it felt a little weird being alone, but to me it really didn't matter. I usually had Gale with me, but this was much better, I wouldn't complain if I could have Peeta or Prim here, but it seemed like both of them was as impossible to get here. I wanted to talk to someone, so I walked over to the phone and rang to Minna. One signal, two signals, three.

"Joel Vinson speaking." It answered.

"Hi, this is Katniss." I said.

"Katniss? How are you? Do you want to talk to Minna, I'll call her over, she's outside with the girls." He said.

"Yes, I'm fine, I'd like to talk to her yes." I said. It was silent for a few moments.

"Katniss?" I recognized Minna's voice.

"Yeah, it's me, I made it." I said and I started to get a lump in my throat when I thought about that I would probably never meet her again.

"You made it Katniss, now you never have to see that monster again." She said with a happy voice, I smiled a little.

"So what happened after I left?" I asked.

"First nothing, several hours of nothing, then he came here, furious, wondering if we knew where you were. We told him that we didn't knew, and he left again, I haven't seen him since that, I've only seen him walking around in your, sorry, I mean his house." I smiled at that, but still I felt a little sorry for him, he worked so hard to get me, and then I left him, but when I looked down at my hand, that had no bandage anymore, I remembered why I left him. My wrist was blue and a little swollen, the marks in my face started to fade too, that meant that he didn't hit me the hardest he could, because sometimes I had the marks there for one or two weeks. "How are you doing over there?" she asked me, and I explained all about Karen to her, when I was done she said;

"Are you serious, does she even love him?"

"I think so yes, but a person like that; you can never be sure…" I said.

"There is really nothing you can do huh?" she said.

"No, think about what he would say to me if I told him what she said to me."

"He wouldn't be angry with her, he would be angry at you." She said with a sad tone. We talked for a while more, but then I had to go to finish the dinner. When I sat there eating, I thought about everything and nothing, after dinner I sat down at the sofa, looking out the window, I could see over to Haymitch house from here, and from my bedroom and the kitchen, I could see Peetas house. I sat there looking out for a while, before I decided to go see Haymitch.

I just walked in, without knocking, if I knew him right, he wouldn't come to open it anyway. I went in to the kitchen, he just stared at me, and he was drunk again, of course.

"What are you doing here?" he asked me.

"Visiting you." I said.

"Why?"

"Because I felt lonely."

"Then I'm happy that you came here and not went over to Peeta." he said, we both got silent for a few seconds, his house was a mess, even if he obviously had some cleaning help there, once or twice a week. "So, you wanted to talk or just stare?" he asked me.

"I don't know, it depends…"

"On what?"

"How willing you are to talk." He just grunted something as an answer, I didn't know if I should tell Haymitch what kind of person Karen was.

"How well do you know Karen?" I asked him, the look he gave me didn't look happy, but he still answered.

"Not much, why?"

"She just seems a little… I don't know, she seems very nice, but when Peeta left the room, she more or less threatened me…" I said and Haymitch looked at me with a little smile.

"I knew you would figure out that you had feelings for Peeta, but I expected it to take more than one day…" he said, I threw him a look.

"It's not that, I don't _love_ him, I think, at least not like that, yet…"

"Don't want to know." He said, I just stared at him. "Leave them alone, don't separate them, he's finally happy again." He continued.

"I know, but what if she really isn't a good person?" I asked.

"Then Peeta will realize it, sooner or later, he's a good kid, he knows what to do…" Haymitch said. I nodded and got up; I saw that he was starting at my hand. "Did he really hit you?" he asked, and I knew we didn't talk about Peeta anymore. I nodded again and sat down again. Haymitch gulped and looked at my face.

"I made the wrong choice…" I said quietly. "That's why I don't want Peeta to make mistakes, she probably won't hit him, like Gale did to me, but psychical pain can be even worse."

"That's not what we're talking about anymore, leave that!" he almost sounded angry. "He really did hit you?" he asked again.

"Several times a week." I said, he almost looked disgusted.

"He fought for you, he won against Peeta, he got you, and then he started beating you…?" he said, he almost started to sound like he cared about me, and that was something new. I nodded again.

"He really is an ass." I said.

"What happened?" he asked, I told him the same things that I had told Peeta the night before, when I finished he looked at me, and I saw pity in his face, he was Haymitch, he never got emotional, this was something completely new to me.

"You and Peeta were the first two that I brought home back with me, and then some asshole hurts you… I should… and if Peeta knew…" his sentences never finished.

"Peeta already knows." I said quietly.

"Why did you tell him that?" Haymitch asked.

"Because he came over and we fought, and he stepped towards me and I automatically tried to protect myself and he put together one and one." I said in one breath. Haymitch just looked at me.

"That means that if Gale ever comes to 12, he probably dies." He said, he smiled a little at the thought, and I knew he was right.

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He walked closer to me, all I could look at was his gorgeous blue eyes, and all I could see in his eyes was love. He put his hands at my waist and put his forehead against mine. My body immediately reacted to that, I wanted him closer. I put my hands behind his neck and pressed his face against mine to kiss him. His lips were soft and nice and he kissed me passionately for a long time. I felt his hands wander over my back and then he pulled my shirt over my head, I started to take his shirt off too, and he started to kiss me more passionately, when I took his shirt off, his lips moved down to my neck and he kept on kissing me.

Suddenly I woke up, I rolled over and expected to find Peetas body there, but then I realized that it was just a dream, that Peeta was home with Karen, maybe doing the same thing to her as he did to me in my dream. I felt sad when I thought about it; okay, in real life I probably couldn't really have sex with anyone yet without getting flashbacks and horrible memories from when Gale raped me…

I lied there in bed thinking about how alone I felt, after this dream I felt better and worse. I felt better because I was sure that I had some kind of feelings for him, it should be too early to say, considering that I was married last week, but somewhere inside of me I felt that I needed Peeta, in one way or another.

I was sad about that it didn't matter if I loved him with all of my heart, because he still belonged to Karen.

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**Hope you liked it!**

**I'm pretty satisfied with it right now, probably I don't think that tomorrow... :D**

**Please review, I love to know what you think of my writing :)**

**Have a nice day :p**

**/FanficFanny**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi everyone, trying to update as often as possible, but yeah, school and all… :)**

**Hope you'll like this chapter.**

**Enjoy :D**

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The next morning I woke up from a nightmare again, I was kicking and screaming until I woke up, when I was fully awake I remembered the dream from earlier, now I wanted it to be true, I had figured out that I had some kind of feelings for Peeta, but I would keep all of that to myself… I got down the stairs and ate one cheese bun from the day before, I would have to buy more, I ate them all the time, I loved them.I thought about what I should do today, I couldn't come up with anything smart, except; buy more cheese buns. I started to clean the house instead, packed up the last stuff and fixed a little in the house. After that I just sat down in the kitchen drinking some tea, I had no idea what to do. I was in no mood to go out hunting, I didn't want to meet anyone, so I just sat there for a while.

When the time showed 1:57 I rose up and put my jacket on, I started walking towards the town and the bakery, when I got close; I felt the smell from there. When I walked in a little bell at the door had some noise, so that he could hear when there came some customers, I hadn't even noticed that the day before.

"One moment." I heard Peetas voice from behind.

"No panic." I said, I heard some noise, but I didn't know what it was.

"Sorry, I burned my hand." He said when he came out walking to the shop part of the bakery; he had his hand wrapped in something cold.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, and he showed me his hand, it wasn't so bad.

"Just have something cold on it, like cold water, that's really good." I said. In his eyes I saw that he wanted to say; that I'm a healer like my mom, I just shook my head and smiled.

"So, what are you doing here?" he asked me,

"I'm out of cheese buns, and I thought that this was a place where I could get more." I said and smiled, he smiled back.

"Of course." He said and started walking away, "Do you want to see the rest of the bakery?" he asked me. I just nodded and followed him. He showed me where he usually worked. It was quite impressive.

"So what do you think?" Peeta asked me after he had showed me around.

"It's really nice." I said and smiled at him. He gave me my cheese buns and I wanted to hug him when I left, but I remained strong and walked away with a happy 'goodbye'. When I walked home I took deep breaths, I had been through a lot of things in life, but this was a hard thing for me, I couldn't stand it. I was jealous.

When I came home I walked in and sat down in the kitchen with a new cup of tea and a cheese bun. I sat there looking out the window at Peetas house, their door opened, and Karen stepped out, she started walking towards my house. I didn't know what to do before she knocked at my door, then I got up and opened the door.

"Hi, can I come in?" she asked.

"Sure." I said with a little smile, even though I had no idea what she was doing here. I walked back in to the kitchen. "Would you want some tea?" I asked her, she nodded and sat down, I made her a cup and gave her, and then I sat down at my place.

"Where did you go earlier?" she asked me, oh great, a stalker.

"To the bakery." I answered truthfully.

"Why?" she asked me, she must be quite jealous…

"Because I needed more cheese buns, want one?" I said, it looked like she didn't believe me, she nodded and I but the box with the buns at the table, I also took one self.

"Why did you wonder? Don't you trust Peeta, or is it me you don't trust?" I asked her, it probably wasn't the smartest thing to ask, but I felt like I had to, she looked a little angry for a moment, but then she smiled at me.

"No, I was just thinking about my neighbors…" she was really weird. "Where are you from?" she asked me suddenly.

"Eh, from district 12, the seam." I said like it was obvious, and almost everyone actually knew that.

"I know that, but where did you disappear for a couple of years? What happened, why did you came back?" she asked, she really talked a lot. "Peeta doesn't want to talk about you a lot…" she continued, and something in her eyes told me that she thought that that was a good thing, even if I understood it like it was a too sensitive thing to talk about for Peeta.

"I went to district 2, I got married. He… wasn't the right for me, and now I'm back." I said. I didn't want to talk about this with her, to be honest, I wanted her to leave. She kept on small talking to me like we were old friends for a while. I just answered her questions, but not a word more, I didn't like her, not only that she was a fake with me, it was something weird with her. After a while she left, and about 10 minutes later I saw that Peeta got home, she had to know his schedule.

I kept on walking around in my house, doing nothing. I walked upstairs, back down the stairs, tried to do something, but since I already had cleaned the whole house, there was really nothing to do. I took the pearl I had got from Peeta in my hand and sat down at the couch, I watched it for a long time. It somehow felt soothing. I looked at it for a long time, remembering the nights without him in 13, I wanted his arms around me so badly, but when I thought about it, I didn't deserve him at all.

It was sunset when I looked out the window, of course that made me think about Peeta, the orange that the sky was, was his favorite color. Someone knocked at the door, and since it was locked I had to get up to open, I put the pearl in my pocket and walked to the door, when I opened it was Karen again. She looked panicked, like she didn't know what to do, but at the same time she looked angry.

"Katniss, you have to help me, it's something wrong with Peeta." she started.

"What?!" I screamed out.

"He doesn't speak, it's like I'm not there, he is just sitting at a chair, and he is really tense. And he looks like he is in pain." She said while I was putting on a pair of shoes, I immediately recognized it, he had an episode. _That meant he was thinking about me._ But it didn't have to be in a good way.

"Has this happened before?" I asked as I started walking over at their house, I had no jacket, and it started to get cold outside.

"No, never." She said, I didn't know if it would only make things worse if I came there. I nodded at the answer, I opened the door and walked in to their kitchen, he was sitting with his head in his hands, his fists like balls, and all of his body really tense. _He is really hot_. I wasn't allowed to think like that, but still I did.

"Peeta?" I asked softly, he didn't react.

"I've tried everything, I even screamed, but he still seems like he can't hear me." Karen said, I started walking slowly towards Peeta, when I was close enough I kneeled in front of him.

"Peeta? Can you hear me?" I asked with a calm voice, he still didn't react; I carefully put my hand at his hand.

"Don't touch me, mutt!" he said, two seconds later he muttered; "I'm sorry Katniss." His eyes were still closed, he tried to fight the episode, if it would get the better of him, I would be in danger, but if he won the fight inside his head, everything would be normal soon.

"Peeta, it's not real, calm down, it's not real." I said as softly as I could. He nodded weakly, but didn't relax. After a few moments he opened his eyes, and his blue, met my gray. I smiled weakly at him when he started to relax.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"It's not your fault." I said when I rose up, I looked around in the kitchen and saw Karen, and she looked really jealous.

"Katniss." Peeta said and I looked at him. "Thank you." He said and I smiled. I started walking towards the door; I wanted to get home, before my feelings had time to tell me that I wanted to hug him. When I grabbed the door, Karen came there.

"Thanks Katniss." She said, she didn't sound thankful; she sounded jealous, so I just nodded and opened the door and walked home. When I got home, I felt miserable. I hated this, all these feelings. I didn't want to feel this much, I wanted to do like the first time after the rebellion, turn off my emotions. Just turn off, and not feel. And that was exactly what I did, I sat down in my rocking chair, in front of my fireplace, and I didn't feel. I just stared, slept a little, ate a little and then I stared some more.

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**_Peetas POV_**

"No panic." I recognized that voice everywhere, it was Katniss voice. I got so surprised to hear her that I burned my hand at the oven when I took out the cupcakes. I put some ice on it, because I had heard somewhere that you should put something cold on if you get burned. I walked out to her; it was hard to look at her, because she was so beautiful. I wasn't allowed to think like that, I had Karen now, she made me happy. Since Katniss had moved back I had been very confused, I thought I loved Karen, but every time I saw Katniss, I got back a little more of my feelings for her, and lost a little of my feelings for Karen.

"Sorry, I burned my hand" I said when I came to face her, it was hard to look in to those grey eyes, when I looked in to them, I remembered every single memory I had with her, every kiss, every night during the victory's tour. I remembered every reason that I had ever fell in love with her, but I had to remind myself that I had Karen, I couldn't trust Katniss, not after she left me.

"Are you okay?" she asked me, I showed her the hand and she looked at it carefully. "Just have something cold on it, like cold water, that's really good." I smiled a little, remembering the first games, when she helped me with all my wounds, even if she would never admit it, I always would think she was a little of a healer, she shook her head at my smile.

"So, what are you doing here?" I asked her, not that I don't liked it, but I was still wondering.

"I'm out of cheese buns, and I thought that this was a place where I could get more." She gave me a beautiful smile, and I smiled back, I remembered her deep love for cheese buns

"Of course." I said and started to turn around to go get some cheese buns for her "Do you want to see the rest of the bakery?" I asked her, I didn't know why, but I wanted her to see it, she knew how much it meant to me, and as my friend I wanted her to see it.

"So what do you think?" I asked her after showing her around.

"It's really nice." She said with a smile that seemed genuine, I gave her the box with the cheese buns; she smiled again when she smelled them. She started to walk towards the door, and I didn't want to admit it, but I actually wanted her to stay.

"Goodbye." She said and waved at me, I waved back.

"Bye Katniss." I said when the door closed after her. I got back to work; it was a way to me to clear my mind. I had missed Katniss a lot after she left with Gale. I still couldn't understand that he would beat her up every time she did something wrong, I never thought that about him, I thought he was a good guy.

A few months ago I started to feel again, I started to live again, and I realized that it wouldn't help to sit alone in my house, missing her. Shortly after that I met Karen, I was working at the bakery, maybe the second day after I opened the bakery, we started to talk and it seemed like she really understood me. We started to meet, and soon I fell for her. She is sweet and loving, I really liked her personality, her looks were really good, and she wasn't bad in bed eighter…

Now when Katniss was back I was confused, I thought I was over her, the first time I met her after she returned my whole new world fell apart, I just wanted to have her back. But Karen reminded me that she probably would let me down again, and I had Karen, she loved me and I loved her, I think. But still somewhere deep inside, I felt something for Katniss. Every time I saw her, I wanted to kiss her, and that is love, I couldn't love them both.

When the bakery closed I started to walk back home, when I walked by Katniss house, I saw that she was sitting in her kitchen, looking at me. I wanted to go there, and tell her that I had missed her, but if I did that, I probably wouldn't be able to not kiss her. When I opened the door to my own house Karen stood there, looking at me. I smiled at her and pecked her lips, it felt good, I got reminded that I loved her, not Katniss.

"Hi Peeta." she said and looked at me.

"Hi honey, how have your day been?" I asked her while taking off my jacket.

"Pretty good, I was over to Katniss a while, talking to her." she said and I smiled a little. That was a good thing, they should become friends.

"And what did Katniss say?" I asked her and kissed her, when we broke the kiss she answered.

"Not so much, she told me she had been to the bakery today." I nodded to say 'yes she was there' and I saw jealousy in Karen's warm blue eyes.

"You aren't jealous huh?" I asked her and put my arms around her; she shook her head and kissed me. But she maybe should have been jealous, I wasn't sure about my feelings for Katniss, I had to figure that out, the other day when we fought, I got all of my anger out of me, and when I took that one step towards her, that made her back off and protect herself, I felt that I should hug her and be with her no matter what. I was so confused.

After a while Karen started making dinner, she was a great cook, so I just sat down at a chair looking at her, she was beautiful. Her long red-brown hair was curly and she looked so cute when she smiled at me a little now and then. When dinner was ready we ate and then I made the dishes, after that we sat down at the table, she was reading a newspaper, and I was just thinking, I had to sort out this with Katniss. I really liked her, I had missed her, but she was married last week, she wasn't ready to move on yet anyway, I could never have her. I had let her go once, and I would have to regret that for the rest of my life. I would live a happy life with Karen, and Katniss would find someone new to marry and live with.

It would be hard to see that happen, that I would lose her twice, and even if I would tell Karen everything, that I thought that I might still love Katniss and that I wanted to be with her instead, it wasn't sure that Katniss wanted me, probably she didn't. She had left me for a reason, and she would never love me. She loved Gale or then she loved no one.

When I thought that I felt that an episode started. I wanted to stop it, but it was too late, I tensed up and started breathing heavier, there was nothing I could do. All the horrible memories from the Capitol came back, all the memories about Katniss being a mutt, that she killed my family and everyone I loved, and that she tried to kill me. I fought this episode so hard, somewhere in my head I got worried about Karen. I had never had an episode when she was with me. I heard that she tried to talk to me, but I couldn't concentrate. I just sat there trying to fight all the memories. Suddenly I heard someone talking to me again, but this time it wasn't Karen, it was Katniss. One part of my brain got happy, told me that I should hug her and tell her that I still had feelings for her, but another part of my brain said that she was dangerous, that she would try to kill me, that she was a mutt.

"Peeta, can you hear me?" she asked with a calm voice, she had seen me like this before, and knew what to do. I was worried about her, I tried to fight the episode, but if I fully got in to an episode I would probably hurt her. I felt her hand at mine and the hijacked part of my brain started talking;

"Don't touch me, mutt!" I heard myself saying, even though I didn't mean it, with all of my force I mumbled "I'm sorry Katniss."

"Peeta, it's not real, calm down, it's not real." she said with a soft voice. I nodded a little at her and finally managed to fight back the episode, a few moments later I opened my eyes and looked in to her beautiful grey eyes. I saw something in her eyes that I didn't expected, it could have been love, but I wasn't sure.

"I'm sorry." I said and tried to not feel anything for her, it was meaningless, I still felt all warm inside, like I had the last 15 years when I saw her.

"It's not your fault." She said and rose up from the floor, she looked around the room and her eyes stopped at Karen, Karen looked really jealous, but it didn't matter, at that moment I couldn't tell if I should care, if I should tell her that I loved Katniss and not her, or if I should tell Katniss that I loved Karen.

"Katniss." I said and she looked at me. "Thank you." Were the only words I managed to say out loud. I wanted to tell her so much more, but before I could she started to walk away from me. Karen followed her to the door, and I realized that I really love Katniss, I had told her '_always'_ and I would never break that. This would be hard, but somehow, I would get her back.

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**Hope you liked this chapter, and hope you liked the Peetas POV, it was a little hard to write down all of my thoughts :D I soon want to get Peeta and Katniss together, Everlark forever :P**

**Please leave a review, makes me so happy :) Tell me what you liked, and what you didn't like ;)**

**Have a nice day ^^**

**/FanficFanny **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi Guys! Thanx a lot for the response at the last chapter :D Nothing bad :)**

**I'm updating quite often, but sometimes it can get a little longer pause between the chapters… Hope you still like it ^^**

**Now I'll let you read, hope you like it :P**

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**_Katniss POV_**

I heard the door open, but I ignored it, I had ignored the whole world for almost a week now, but I couldn't face my feelings. I hated them; they told me that I loved someone that I could never get. Peeta was at home, happy with Karen, and I wanted to not care, but I did. All I could do was to think about my mistakes, I thought about every person I had killed, about every person I had hurt.

"What are you doing sweetheart?" I heard Haymitch ask, he was the first person that visited me this week. I had been all alone here in my depression, and no one cared. But that was good, no one should care. I didn't answer him though, I didn't want to talk to anyone, it would just cause me more feelings and more pain, I wanted to sit in my rocking chair, staring in to the fire, and not feel.

"Katniss, don't do this again." He said seriously, and since he actually used my real name, he must have been very serious. I still didn't answer him, I tried to ignore him, even if I know he was right, but last time I came out of my depression because of Peeta, and this time that would not happen, because I wanted Peeta, but I could not have him.  
I heard Haymitch steps and then the door, since he gave up that easy he would soon be back, and I didn't want that, I was way to over emotional now, last time I was like this, it wasn't so hard, but I had been through even more since that, and that had made me more emotional, more scared, so if he came back it was a big possibility that I started crying, or did as he said.

I sat there staring for about an hour before I heard that someone came back, I guessed that it would be Haymitch, but he brought a weapon.

"Katniss are you alright." It was Peeta, Haymitch got him here, and that was a bad thing, I could be strong, but not if Peeta came here. I stayed silent and reminded myself that I could never have him; it was not worth it that he came there; I wouldn't leave this half-dead place.

"Katniss, please talk to me." he said, and I wanted to, but I couldn't. I still just sat there staring, I heard that he started walking and soon he stood in front of me, his blue eyes trying to reach out to me. I tried not to really look at him.

"Katniss, don't do this again, I have lost you once, I can't lose you again." He said quietly, and he really looked like he cared.

"I can't" I said silently, my voice was cracky because I hadn't spoken to anyone in over a week. But he at least seemed happy that I said something at all.

"You have to, you can't live like this, I need you in my life." He said, I couldn't believe him, he had Karen.

"Karen…" I said weakly.

"Yes, I like her too, but I still need you in my life, as a neighbor, as someone who understands all of my nightmares, and as a friend." He said, he looked unsecure in his eyes, like he didn't know what to say. I felt a tear run down my cheek, but Peeta dried it off. I wanted to hug him, but I didn't know if it was propitiate when he actually was with Karen. Before I could think, he had his arms around me and I hugged him back. I dragged in his baker sent, he always smelled good. I never wanted to end that hug, I had missed him so much. When he started to pull back from the hug, he looked very thoughtful, but he smiled weakly at me.

"Promise me Katniss; promise me that you will take care of yourself." He said, I just nodded, but for him I would do it. A few moments later he left, and I was alone again, but this time I wouldn't sit down and ignore everyone, this time I would start a new life.

I started with a shower, when I looked at myself in the mirror I felt horrible, I had big, dark bags under my eyes, from lack of sleep, my hair looked lifeless and my body looked miserable, not only from this week, with very little food and water, also every little scar was visible, every scar from the war, from the bombings that caused Prims death, but also from every time Gale hit me hard enough to leave scars, every time it left a scar in my soul, but a little now and then, he actually hit me hard enough to make it visible. I moved on to the shower and after that I started brushing my hair; it took a very long time to untangle the mess. I put some clothes on and then I went downstairs to make me something to eat, when I thought about it, I was quite hungry. I ate some stew and then I made myself a cup of tea and went outside and sat down at the stairs.

I looked around and first now I noticed that all of the other houses in the victory's village were empty. If I would have been one of them helping with rebuilding district 12, I would have moved in people to the empty houses.

I had no idea what day it was, or what time it was, but after a look at the sun, I would have guessed about 5pm. It could have been Sunday, since it wasn't too long ago that Peeta was over, and he should be at the bakery, but I wasn't sure.

I wanted to go out hunting, but it was a little late, I decided to anyway, and that I could go to the lake and sleep there. I went inside and but on my hunting boots and my dad's hunting jacket. I walked outside, but then I went in and wrote a note if someone would try to check on me.

_I'm out hunting; I probably won't be back before tomorrow._

_Thank you for pulling me out from that depression._

_Katniss_

I left the note at the table and walked outside, when I came in to the forest I went to the old tree to get my bow and my arrows, then I started walking, it got darker when I walked, but I shot two rabbits, after a while I came to mine and dad's place by the lake. I walked over to the little cabin and opened the door. It was dark, and it wasn't clean, but then again, no one had been there for a couple of years. I went outside and collected some wood to the fireplace. I started a little fire and then I cleaned a little. I took it easy and ate one of the rabbits, a while later I fell asleep.

A few hours later I woke up from screaming and trashing. I expected that Gale would hit me from waking him up, as he always did, but then I remembered that I was in security, Gale couldn't reach me here. It was always horrible to wake up from a nightmare, and in to another, being beaten because I woke him up…

Now I just turned around at my place at the floor, I looked in to the last flames, and then I fell asleep again. Next time I woke up, it was already morning. Sun was up and I stretched out at the floor and then I got up, I had some more hunting to do, and then I would go home, to my real home.

I packed my things and went out, I started walking through the forest, and suddenly I saw a deer. It looked at me and I looked back at it. I pointed at it with an arrow, but I couldn't shoot it. It was so beautiful, and I wouldn't get it home with me. I lowered the arrow and just stared at it, suddenly it ran away. I just stood there, and then I heard steps behind me, and when I turned around I got the shock of my life. I was very close to town but I didn't expect to see him there. I never wanted to see him again.

"What are you doing here?" I asked with a voice as cold as ice. He stared at me for a few moments.

"Don't you miss me?" Gale asked with a sugar sweet voice. "At least I missed you a lot." He said, and he looked so honest that I almost felt guilty, almost.

"No Gale, you hit me!" I said loudly. He should feel guilty, not I.

"I now Catnip, I'm so sorry. I should never have done that. I regret it so much. I don't know what happened." He said and he looked like he was in pain. But I had heard this through the years.

"You have said this before." I said and my voice started to get shaky.

"I know Catnip, but I really am sorry." He said quietly.

"I don't believe you. What are you doing here?" I asked again and tried to keep my voice strong, but I would soon start to cry again. I would never get away from him. He took a step towards me and I baked away.

"I'm here to get you back. I love you Catnip, don't doubt that. Come back to me, you'll never be as happy with Mellark that you could be with me." he said.

"I would be thousand times better with Peeta, I have heard this before! One year, I got one year of happiness!" I screamed and a tear started to run down my cheek.

"I'm so sorry. Come here" he said and opened his arms.

"Never." I said and started to back off again, with three long steps he was by my side. He grabbed my right wrist and I screamed out in pain, he wasn't careful.

"You really have no choice, you will come with me. I just gave you one chance to do it yourself." He hissed, I got really scared now. I had to get away. I spat him in the face and he lost his grip over my hand. But soon he slapped me in the face and I really saw stars. He grabbed my arms and made me look at him.

"You just did everything worse for you." He said, I couldn't take this, I was supposed to be free from this now. Before I could think he hit me again, I felt the taste of blood in my mouth, but I had been through worse. Fast I kicked him between his legs, and then he really reacted. I felt proud of myself for a second, but then I realized that it wouldn't take too long for him to recover from that. He was at the ground, but he started to get up. I started running; I knew that I was faster than him. I had been through two hunger games, and a war, I had been through so much more than him. But in district 2, it was his home, if I did something to him there; I wouldn't be able to run. Now I knew exactly where I was headed. I ran but I heard him behind me.

"Katniss, you won't get away." He screamed; that made me run even faster. When I came to the fence I fast went through it, I started running through town and towards victory's village. I still had my bow and my arrows so if he would come too close I at least could shoot him. This was absurd, once; this was the place where we were best friends, and now he was chasing me to get me back to district 2 with him. I never thought he would do this. Why was I so important to him? If he would still just beat me…?

I reached Haymitch house and took the stairs in one step, I knocked hard and tried to open it, but it was locked. When I ran back down the stairs Gale was close, I ran as hard as I could over to Peetas and Karen's house. I just opened the door, and it was unlocked. I slammed the door, and it took about five seconds before Gale opened it. He was furious.

"Hiding at Mellark's huh?" he asked and I backed in to the house. I couldn't see anyone, and my back hit the wall. "Where did my little fighter go? I thought you were strong, and now you're here, hiding and searching for help from someone as weak as you." He took a few steps towards me.

"He is not weak! He's a thousand times stronger than you. You haven't been through the hunger games, you haven't seen all the same death as he and I have, you haven't been tortured by the Capitol. You know nothing about Peeta!" I screamed. "And I, I got afraid after my best friend and _husband_ started to hit me! Don't you understand that that's what hurts the most! Someone I trusted with my life made it a million times worse." For a second he looked like he actually was sorry, like he cared, then the evil grin came back. What was wrong with him?

"A very nice speech, but now you're coming home with me." I didn't understand where my Gale went. He just disappeared.

"No!" I screamed, trying to get Peeta to hear, when I thought about it, I wasn't even sure that he was home, and Karen probably would enjoy watching me get beaten up.

"What are you saying? You won't do as I say?" he asked and grabbed my wrist again, I cried out in pain.

"I won't come with you!" I said loudly again, he hit me over my cheek and it started to taste blood again.

"Don't touch her again." Tears started to fill my eyes when I recognized Peetas voice, he was standing at the stairs, his hair was wet, and he had probably been taking a shower, and heard us first now. Gale turned around to look at Peeta; his eyes were full of hatred when he stared over at him.

"So you dare say something about my wife?" Gale asked.

"I'm not your wife! Not anymore!" I yelled.

"Yes you are, and you'll come home with me." he said like he was saying it the hundred time today.

"I'm not! I left the ring at your house, and I left my life with you also." I sighed and the tears started falling. "I married a sweet man who loved me. Now he is gone." I said. "I wish I would have stayed here." He stared in to my eyes.

"I'm still here Catnip." He said softly and pressed his lips against mine, but I had heard this before… I pushed him away.

"I don't believe you! You've said that so many times." I started screaming again. I almost forgot that Peeta was in the room. Gale hit me again, my eye started to swollen and I barely could see with my one eye, he was very strong. Suddenly he let off my hand and turned around towards Peeta. When he turned around Peeta hit him in his nose, it crashed and I guessed it was broken, but it didn't took too long for Gale to recover and he hit Peeta in his stomach, he bended over and gasped for air. Gale turned back to me and grabbed my arms and started to pull me out of the house.

"No! I want to stay here! I don't want to go back to two!" I screamed and tried to get away, but he was way stronger than me, when we got outside I saw my chance, I spat him in the face and then I started screaming. I could barely see something and I felt like I just wanted to fall down at the ground, but I started to find some of my old fighting instinct. I heard Haymitch open his door at the same time that Gale hit me to get me silent.

"Don't hit her!" Peeta screamed before he started to walk against us again. Gale threw me down at the ground and when I fell I hit my head that resulted in dizziness. Next  
thing I knew was Peeta and Gale fighting. They were kicking and hitting each other. I got up from the ground.

"Stop!" I screamed, but they just ignored me, why would they listen… Haymitch got there, he pulled out his knife.

"Now you two stop fighting like little kids!" he said and they actually did stop.

"Stay out of this your old drunk!" Gale said, he was being brave, considering that Haymitch was holding his knife.

"What are you doing back here anyway?" Haymitch asked.

"Catnip should come back home with me." he said. "She should come home, where she belongs." He said and I almost felt sick.

"I don't belong with anyone who hurts me as much as you do." I said and he took a step towards me.

"Sweetheart, you look like hell; you'll go inside, and take care of you. Peeta; go home to Karen and take care of you. Gale, come with me." Haymitch said seriously.

"I'm so sorry Catnip." Gale said, his mood changed all the time.

"No Gale, I am." I said and then I walked away. When I came inside I started crying again. I had left my home with a man that I loved, that loved me, a few years later I leave him because he is abusive, but then he searches me up and beats me here too. I thought I had been enough in my life, but no, obviously not…

I sat in my living room for a little while, crying, and then someone knocked at my door. I didn't go to open, it could have been Gale.

"Katniss, can I come in?" it was Peeta, I walked over to the door and opened, he had gone home and made him look attractive again after the fight. He had cleaned his wounds and probably talked to Karen about what happened. I walked back inside and threw a look at myself in the mirror, I looked like a disaster. My hair was a mess, both from last night's sleep and from fighting with Gale, I had red and soon to be blue marks in my face, my left eye was swollen and a red-blue color. He had done this with his hands, and then he tried to convince me that he loved me.

"I'm so sorry Peeta." I said and looked at him.

"For what?" he asked and sounded surprised.

"That I brought him to your house… but Haymitch didn't open, and I was too afraid to meet him alone…"

"Shh…" he cut me off. "It was a good thing that you was brave enough to come to my place. I know you have had a hard time with asking for help, and I would never want you to meet him alone. What has happened to him?" he asked, I just shook my head, taking in what he said. "He used to be a good guy, something happened to him, he would never have beaten a woman back then…" he said, and I knew he was right, the Gale I knew, would never have toughed a woman in a bad way, he was a good man. But he was gone now.

"Not the old Gale, but now you saw what I have been living with the last years, and I couldn't stand it anymore." I started crying, again, and I hated it. I had been crying too much the last few days, I stopped immediately when I thought like that, but the tears were still running down my cheeks.

"You did the right thing." Peeta said and I felt his strong, protective arms around me. I hugged him back and my tears made his shoulder wet, but he didn't seem to care. He rubbed my back and we stood like that for quite a long time, when he backed off I looked in to his eyes.

"I'm so sorry." I said again.

"Don't be, I just wanted to protect you…" he said but I cut him off.

"Not for that, but because I left you, I should have stayed here with you in the first place, I should never have left with Gale, then this wouldn't be happening." I said and he nodded slowly.

"But you're here now, and that's all that matters." He said, and then everything happened very quickly, Peeta started to leave, but before he did that, he carefully, lightly, pressed his lips against mine. Just for a second and then he left my house without another word, and all I could think about was how much I had missed that.

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**Yeah, so hope you liked that, it got a little confusing, even for me as a writer… I just can't get all of my thoughts written down… **

**But I wanted to have Gale come back, and I wanted to get back on track with Peeta and Katniss… So I hope you enjoyed it.**

**Please leave a review, so that I can know what you thought about this chapter :D**

**You're simply the best people ever! ;)**

**/FanficFanny**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you so much for the good response! I realized that my stories are just going better and better :)**

**In the beginning I wrote that I think this would only be a few chapters, but I don't know, we'll see, it might be quite long, I enjoy writing it :D What do you think, should I do like two or three more chapters, or should I make it longer?**

**I hope I can update some more now, because I have a few days off of school now ;) **

**This chapter will be in Peetas POV again, because I think it will be more understandable then. I maybe put a little bit of Katniss POV in the end, we'll see.**

**Now; enjoy! :p**

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**_Peetas POV_**

I should not have done that; I should not have kissed Katniss. But I couldn't stop myself, she was apologizing for ever leaving me and I just felt like I couldn't do anything else. I really had to talk to Karen, the moment when my lips hit Katniss' I felt every little feeling I had had for her the past 15 years. I felt all of my love for her return to me.

When I kissed her I almost expected her to slap me in the face, it was Katniss, and if you did something like that, you could never know. But she didn't move, she just stood there, frozen. Not even when I left her house she said something.

"Where did you go?" Karen asked me as soon as I opened the door.

"I checked if Katniss was okay." I said and she looked a little calmer, from the beginning, I went to see if she was okay. Gale hit her really hard, and she had been living with that for several years now. That was not just physical pain, it was psychical too. And she said it herself, the pain she could take, she was not weak, but the thought of her best friend and husband doing that to her… The thought still sickened me, even more now when I had seen it with my own eyes.

"Was she okay?" Karen asked and I heard jealousy in her voice, but that jealousy would get worse when I told her what I felt for Katniss.

"No, her former husband searched her up, just to beat her and try to take her back to district 2. She had a black eye, not pretty red and blue marks all over her face and her wrist had a few bruises." I said. She walked over to me, and I sat down at a chair, she looked at me and sat down in my lap.

"And you? Are you okay?" she asked, I nodded and she stroked my chest with her hand, but all I could think about was that I wished that it was Katniss sitting here in my lap. I had to try one thing; I slowly and carefully pressed my lips against hers, just for a second, and I was right, when I did it to Katniss, I felt every little part of me wanted more, I wanted to kiss her more, I felt butterflies in my stomach and I just wanted to have her as my own. When I kissed Karen, it was just a kiss, nothing more. No emotions, no butterflies. She started to deepen the kiss and her hand went in under my shirt. I carefully grabbed her hand and leaned out of the kiss.

"No Karen, I can't." she looked at me with a very questioning face expression. "We need to talk." I said and she jumped off of my lap, sitting down at the chair next to mine. I started to open my mouth, but she was quicker.

"This is because of her, right." She said and looked out the window, over at Katniss house. I nodded slowly and looked down. "I knew that it would be like this. That she would come and take you back." She said, and I felt really guilty, but it wasn't right to live with her and not love her.

"It's not like that…" I said.

"Of course it is like that." She stood up and she almost started screaming. "What else would it be, I told her to stay away from you, but did she? No of course not!" I tried to think about that 'told her to stay away from you' part, but I couldn't concentrate.

"It isn't Karen, she doesn't love me…" I said, but she cut me off again.

"Of course she does, why else would she be locked in at her house for a week, but then suddenly melt when you appear?" she asked sarcastically. I heard in her voice that she would soon start to cry, but there was nothing I could do about it.

"We just have a special bond." I said.

"Yeah, and that's why you should be with her, why don't you just run away over to her and then you can do what you want." She said.

"It's not like that." I said, and I almost started to get a little frustrated, I got up too.

"It's not? Then why are we having this fight?" she asked while her tears started to fall.

"I just can't live without her." I said, and when I said that Karen sat back down, every emotion disappeared from her face, she was just breathing, staring in front of her, but something told me she wasn't in shock.

"Karen?" I asked a little carefully.

"I never really had a chance, did I?" she asked, still just staring. I didn't know what to answer her on that question.

"At one point I really loved you, and somehow, I still do. But my heart belongs with Katniss." I said and finally she looked at me.

"Then I hope you'll be happy with her." she said, rose up and started to walk against the door.

"I don't want you to leave like this." I said and she smiled a little.

"Then you can leave, you can leave with Katniss. I think I'll take the house."

"It was my house from the beginning." I said and she looked like she was thinking for a moment.

"Anyway I wouldn't want you two as my neighbors." She said, clumped down the stairs and left. It took me around two seconds before I started to walk after her.

"Can't we talk and then leave each other like friends?" I asked, she turned around and I saw new tears in her eyes.

"Do you think that would be fun for me. To see the man I love, or at least loved, every day, with another woman, someone who is better looking, someone who is brave and have saved the whole country from starving and killing children. It was never a competition, because I could never win against her. She is so much better, so much… more than me." she said and her tears started falling again. I put my arms around her, put she pushed me away.

"I'm so sorry." I said.

"Don't be, you'll have a nice life at least." She said and started to walk away again, this time I didn't try to stop her. To my surprise she walked over to Katniss house, I looked at her in confusion, and then I realized that she would probably blame all of this on Katniss.

I started walking towards Katniss house with big steps; I opened the door and the first thing I see is Karen slapping Katniss in the face. I knew that it probably did hurt since Katniss already had a lot of bruises in her face. I stayed hidden behind the wall, but I looked at them a little now and then.

"It's your entire fault!" she screamed in Katniss face. I felt sorry for Katniss, she looked so confused.

"What is my fault?" she asked, and I could hear that she felt angry about being accused for something she didn't do.

"You forced Peeta to leave me, to come back to you! How could you do that?" Karen screamed. None of them had noticed me yet. Now Katniss looked even more confused.

"What? No! He should be with you, I never wanted to take him away from you…" she started and my heart dropped, she didn't want to be with me, of course she didn't.

"All you wanted to do was to take him away from me! But you know what, he was always yours, he never really let you go." Karen said with tears running down her cheeks. Katniss got silent for a moment, she looked concerned this time.

"He should not want to be with me…" she said. "… I just keep on hurting him, over and over again, and I hate it." She continued and looked a little sad. Still none of them had recognized me.

"He should not be with you! He should be with me! But he wants to be with you, so what did you do?" Karen started yelling again.

"I didn't do anything, if this is about the kiss…" Katniss started, oh no, now it wouldn't go very well. Karen slapped her in the face.

"What kiss?" she hissed, Katniss had matured a lot during her years away from here, because if she wouldn't, I would have to protect Karen.

"It was no big deal; Peeta kissed me before he left my house earlier." She said, but she didn't sound like she was sad about it. Karen got silent for a moment, she didn't say anything.

"Why did you take him away from me?" she asked after a while.

"I didn't." Katniss said. "If he wants to be with me, he is stupid; all I do is kill and hurt people. I should be alone." She said, but I thought she was so wrong, she saved a lot of people, and she deserved all the love she could get. I probably should tell them that I was there, so I took a step out in the doorway, the still didn't see me though.

"Was it just because he finally was mine?" Karen continued like Katniss wouldn't have said anything at all.

"It was because I still have feelings for Katniss." I said and they both turned towards me.

"Fine, then I'll leave!" Karen said and started to walk towards me, to get out of the house, when she passed me, she didn't even look at me, she just left, but somehow, I couldn't feel sad because of that. For a few moments there was an awkward silence, but to my surprise; Katniss broke it.

"Is it true? Did you leave Karen for me?" she asked, I blushed a little.

"Yeah, but if you don't feel the same for me, I understand, I don't want to put any pressure on you." I said and she smiled a little. She came over and put her arms around my waist and hugged me, I hugged her back. I took in her scent; she always smelt a little like the forest, I loved her so much. When she pulled back she looked in to my eyes. I loved her beautiful grey eyes, they were always so full of life.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered, and put her head against my shoulder, I put my arms back around her.

"For what?" I asked with a smile, what could she possibly be sorry for?

"For everything, for not answering your feelings after the first hunger games, for leaving you again after the war, as soon as we became friends, I left you, for destroying everything between you and Karen." She said.

"None of those things matters." I said and pushed her back a little so that I could look  
in to her eyes.

"Yes they do." She said. "I'm a horrible person, I just kill and hurt people." She said with a sad voice.

"No you don't, you are loving and caring, you have saved a lot of people, you have saved me." I said.

"How did I save you?" she asked.

"Over and over again you have saved me, because that's what we do, we save each other." I said with a little smile, she smiled back.

"Always." She said, and then she slowly leaned towards me for a soft kiss. I felt all bubbly at that moment, the butterflies in my stomach were dancing, I answered the kiss carefully, but after a while I deepened the kiss, she came closer and I had her one hand in my hair. Suddenly she leaned back and looked around her. First I got confused, but then, looking at her bruises I remembered that she probably still was afraid of Gale.

"He won't come here." I said calming and I hugged her and kissed her forehead. She shook her head.

"I know, but I'm still so scared of him." She said and I saw the tears in her eyes.

"You're safe now, I'll protect you."

"No! I don't want to you to get hurt again because of me." She said and took a step back.

"He won't touch you again, I won't let him." I said and she shook her head.

"He is strong, and he isn't the guy he once was…He is just…" she didn't finish the sentence.

"It doesn't matter, you are so brave, and you've been through so much, he has no right to do that to you, or anyone else." I said and she just nodded.

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**_Katniss POV_**

After Karen stormed out we both got silent. I was very surprised when she came in to my house and started accusing me for steeling Peeta away from her; I hadn't done that, at least not on purpose. After a while I just had to ask Peeta if it was true.

"Is it true? Did you leave Karen for me?" I asked, and he blushed a little, he was very cute when he blushed, he didn't do it so often.

"Yeah, but if you don't feel the same for me, I understand, I don't want to put any pressure on you." I couldn't believe it, he did still like me after all I had done to him, he should hate me, but at that moment, I didn't care, I had missed him and I felt something for him, when he kissed me earlier, I felt like I wanted more, and now he said that he still loved me, this was one of the most eventful days in my life. I walked over to him and hugged him tightly, I never wanted to let go. When I did I took a step back and looked in to his beautiful eyes. I would never forget those eyes

"I'm so sorry." I whispered and put my head against his shoulder, inhaling his scent. He put his arms back around me.

"For what?" he asked, I was sorry about everything, for destroying his and Karen's relationship, for leaving him in the first place, for every single time I had hurt him.

"For everything, for not answering your feelings after the first hunger games, for leaving you again after the war, as soon as we became friends, I left you, for destroying everything between you and Karen." I said, I could say a lot more, but I knew he wouldn't let me anyway.

"None of those things matters." He said and pushed me back a little, he looked in to my eyes and I could see that he loved me, but he shouldn't.

"Yes they do, I'm a horrible person, I just kill and hurt people." I said and he looked at me like I was lying to him.

"No you don't, you are loving and caring, you have saved a lot of people, you have saved me." he said with a little half smile.

"How did I save you?" I asked, because how I saw it, I just hurt him.

"Over and over again you have saved me, because that's what we do, we save each other." He said with a little smile, when he used my old words, I smiled back.

"Always." I answered, and leaned forward to kiss him, I didn't know why I did it, I just did, but he didn't seem to mind, after a little while he deepened the kiss, I had my one hand in his hair and we were both breathing heavily from the kiss. Suddenly I thought of Gale, I thought about his violent and rough kisses, he would beat up both me and Peeta if he knew this. I couldn't take anymore, I leaned back and first I saw confusion in Peetas eyes, then understanding.

"He won't come here." He said with a calm voice and put his arms around me again and kissed my forehead.

"I know, but I'm still so scared of him." I answered and I felt the tears make their way to my eyes, but I wouldn't cry more, I had no reason to.

"You're safe now, I'll protect you." He said, but that was wrong, he shouldn't have to protect me, not from Gale, he would not get hurt again because of me.

"No! I don't want to you to get hurt again because of me." I said and stepped back so that I could look at him.

"He won't touch you again, I won't let him." He said and I shook my head, he was too caring, he should hate me, not care about me, and definitely not _love_ me.

"He is strong, and he isn't the guy he once was…He is just…" I couldn't finish the sentence, he was another person now, and he was a bad person.

"It doesn't matter, you are so brave, and you've been through so much, he has no right to do that to you, or anyone else." Peeta said, and he was right, Gale should never do that to anyone, no one should do things like he did, but I was safe here, I didn't even know what happened to him after I walked away earlier today.

"What happened to him anyway?" I asked after a little while, Peeta just shook his head.

"I don't know, I guess Haymitch took care of him." Haymitch had really saved the situation earlier, and I could never thank him enough.

"I want to know where he is, I can't trust him." I said and Peeta nodded we started walking towards Haymitch house in silence, when we came there we knocked and after a few seconds he opened the door.

"I saw the drama earlier, so… is Karen gone now?" he asked, he didn't even let us come in first. Peeta nodded.

"I guess she is, but that's good, that means everything is back to normal." He answered, and I thought about it, I thought that it was a good thing that Karen was gone, but if Peeta thought that too, did he even love her?

"Where is Gale?" I asked Haymitch.

"He is at home, with his family, I hope they can do something about his problems, he is crazy, how could you even look at him?" he asked. I didn't know.

"I have no idea how I could live with that." I said.

"It's over now." Peeta said soothingly and rubbed my arm, it felt good, I had missed Peeta, a lot.

"Are you like together again?" Haymitch asked and grinned, I looked at Peeta and he looked back at me.

"I don't know." He said, and I looked away. I knew that he probably wanted it, but we both had a lot of things we had to sort out first, I had all the Gale stuff, and he had the Karen things. I saw it in his eyes, once, he did love her, or at least had some feelings for her, and you could not just get over that in a few hours. I knew, because it took me over a year after Gale started hitting me before I really could move on and understand that I didn't love him anymore.

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**Hope you liked this chapter, I felt like I had to put in some Katniss POV here in the end :)**

**It got a little weird now the last two chapters; I'll try to make it better.**

**I love you all my readers!**

**I'm going away now over the weekend, so I can't update, and then school starts again, but I'll do my best ;D**

**Review, it makes my day! And please tell me what it is that you like, and not like… If it is hard I can put here some questions that you can answer;**

**What did you think about Peetas and Karen's breakup? Too boring, too predictable?**

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**And do you think Peeta and Katniss should get together just like that again?**

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**Yeah, LOL ^^**

**/FanficFanny**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi! Having a nice day? I am ^^**

**School started again today, it's Monday and I'm tired, but still; I'm in a good mood :)**

**I just realized how much I enjoy writing this story… I got happy when I had time over and could start a new chapter! Joy! :D **

**I think I should tell you that I don't read through my chapters before I publish them… that's why I often have some small flaws… that and because if you have checked my profile, you may noticed that I'm from Finland and my real language is Swedish, so this is training for me! And since I started writing this I actually got higher grades in English :D**

**Now I'll let you read! :)**

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"We need to talk." I said and Peeta nodded, he had followed me home from Haymitch, now we were sitting in the kitchen, both with cup of tea, we were looking at each other.

"What are we going to do now?" Peeta asked, I shook my head, I had no idea. I did have feelings for him, but he needed to sort out his feelings for Karen, and I needed to get rid of Gale.

"How do you feel?" I asked him and looked over at him, he looked back at me and I almost got lost in his eyes.

"Good, I think." He said with a half-smile.

"Are you sure?" I asked and looked down at my tea.

"Yeah, or I don't know, it feels… I can't describe it, but it actually feels a little liberating." He said and I looked back at him. We were just staring at each other for a little while.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, I almost thought he couldn't hear me, but of course he did.

"Stop apologizing." He said softly.

"No, I am sorry. As soon as you moved on, I just came back and ruined everything." I said and he looked at me.

"No, you did not; you just reminded me of who I am." He said. "I am Peeta Mellark, I'm 20 years old, and I have been through not one, but two hunger games, I have lost a leg, I have been tortured by the Capitol, I have been fighting a war, and as long as I can remember I have loved Katniss Everdeen." He said, but it was still wrong.

"You shouldn't love me." I said quietly.

"Sorry, can't do anything about it…" he said.

"You should not love me, you actually should hate me. I have hurt you so many times, and still you just forgive me, and still you love me. That is wrong, you should have stayed with Karen, and you should not be with me." I said and Peeta stared at me.

"Katniss I…" he started but I cut him off.

"You know what Haymitch said once; that I could live a hundred times and never deserve you. I know exactly what he means, you should be angry with me, not just be so nice and loving and sweet." I said. I flushed a little when I realized that I just told him that I thought that he was sweet, but he probably knew that.

"I'm sorry Katniss, but I can't hate you. You are just so brave and beautiful and you would do anything for the ones you love. You are the best person I've met." He said with a calm voice.

"Then you haven't met much people." I said and even I heard how bad that sounded.

"If you don't want to be with me, just tell me, don't start to do like this. Just say it, I can take it. I'll leave if you want to. But tell me now if you don't want me here." He said and sounded really sad.

"Peeta… I don't want you to leave." I said slowly so that he would listen to me, when I said that he relaxed a little. "But I still think that you should sort out your feelings about Karen. You can't just move on like that, from one relationship to another within a few hours." He nodded slowly.

* * *

Peeta had went home a while later, he promised me that he would think over things and not just 'move on'. When he left, I got a hug, but no kiss this time. That was good. Now I was just walking around in the house doing nothing again. I had a lot of time over, and then I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go out hunting, since my last hunting trip ended up with that I met Gale, and if there was even the slightest risk that I could see him again, I would not go.

Time was showing 9:34 when I decided that the best way to kill the time was to sleep. I walked to my bedroom and changed to a big baggy shirt to sleep in. I looked out the window and I saw directly in to Peetas bed room. That probably meant that he could see me too if he wanted to. He was standing there looking out the window, he had no shirt, and probably he was about to go to sleep too. I smiled at the sight, he looked so sweet when he stood there, looking out in to the dark. And I also could admit that he was pretty hot without a shirt, his muscles were perfect. Then suddenly he looked over at my house, I turned around as fast as I could and walked over to my bed and turned the light off.

I laid in there staring out in the darkness, I couldn't sleep, but I didn't want to get up again. This day had been long, and a lot of things had happened. First, Gale found me in the woods and tried to convince me to come back to district 2, and then he beat me. Then Karen's jealousy got too much for her and she became all angry with me. When she hit me, it would not have hurt so much, but when I already had bruises in my face, it was quite painful.

I felt awful. I tried to not tear Peeta and Karen apart from each other, and I failed miserably. But now there was nothing I could do. I had destroyed everything for them. Peeta probably was happy about it, at least he said so, but Karen. When I really thought about it; I didn't care. She had been a bitch towards me. So it was nothing more than right, and Peeta could still not had lived his whole life with her. He would have gone crazy.

Slowly, I drifted off to sleep.

_"Why did you let me die?" Prim whispered, I shook my head._

_"No, I tried to save you, you know that." I said._

_"You left me too! You killed us." Rue said._

_"No! There was nothing I could do!" I screamed._

_"You just left us all." They all said, and I saw them all, they were flying around me; Prim, Rue, Finnick, Cinna even the people from the hospital in district 8._

_"No! I tried to save you! I love you!" I screamed out load._

_"No you don't. You killed us!" They said._

I woke up with a scream and sat myself up in the bed. I hated the nightmares, even though I was pretty used to them by now. I had had them for every night since the hunger games now. When I was with Gale, he used to hit me if I woke him up. There was only one time I had been without my nightmares since the hunger games. When I slept in Peetas arms. He kept the nightmares away, and if I woke up from a nightmare, screaming and trashing, he soon calmed me down. He was the only one who really understood my nightmares. He and maybe Haymitch.

I needed help, now. That was another thing that had changed about me. A couple of years ago, I never would have asked anyone for help. Now I realized that I really needed it. I got up from the bed and put on a pair of sweatpants and walked downstairs. It was around 2:30 in the morning, but I didn't care. I went outside and started walking towards Peetas house. I walked up the stairs and knocked on the door. No response. I knocked again, a little harder inside. When I still couldn't hear anything I started to think about leaving, why would he want me there, half past two in the morning? He probably just wanted to sleep. I turned around, but when I reached the stairs I heard the door open behind me.

"Katniss?" Peeta sounded confused but when I turned around he was smiling. I smiled back.

"Sorry if I woke you up, I eh… I just…" I didn't know what to say.

"Don't apologize, I should thank you for waking me up, I had a nightmare…" He smiled a little.

"Me too…" that was the only thing I could come up with. We were silent for a moment.

"Do you want to come in?" He asked and I nodded, I walked behind him to the living room. "Would you want some tea?" he asked.

"Yes, please, that would be very good." He rose up and started walking towards the kitchen; I followed him because I didn't want to be alone in the living room. He started to make the tea and I sat down at a chair, leaning my arms at the table. When the tea was ready Peeta gave me my cup and sat down across from me.

"What was your dream about?" I asked after a while of silence.

"Still about losing you." He said, without looking at me. I looked down at cup and warmed my hands on it. "Your?" he asked and I looked at him.

"Still about losing everyone I love over and over again." I said and looked back down.

"I know how it feels." He said and I nodded, he should know, he had no family left. That was when I realized that he had been through so much, just like I had. He had lost all of his family. I still had my mom somewhere out there, I think she was in district 3 or 4, but I wasn't sure since I hadn't spoken to her for several years.

"I'm sorry." I said again.

"Stop apologizing, and why would you be sorry this time?" he asked.

"Because I have been so egoistic. I've only been thinking about myself when I should have thought about you." I said and when I looked at him he had a half-smile on his face.

"You have been everything but egoistic. You should be thinking more about yourself, you are amazing Katniss, stop saying bad things about yourself." He said.

"But I'm not a good person, I have killed people, I have hurt people…"

"I've said it before and I'll say it again; you don't now the effect that you can have on people." He said.

"But…"  
"Even Karen said that she admired your courage and how strong you are." He said, I didn't quite believe him, she didn't like me, why would she have said that, but I was still flattered. That discussion ended there when no one of us came up with something more to see. After a little while I saw that Peeta yawned and I felt a little tired too.

"You want to sleep?" I asked him, even though I didn't really want to go back home and be alone again.

"No, I'll just get another nightmare." He said.

"Me too." I said, I almost suggested that we could sleep the same way we did at the victory's tour, but I changed my mind, he should not move on that fast from Karen.

"You want to sleep here at my house?" he asked "I could make ready the bed in the guest room if you don't want to get home." He said but he sounded a little insecure.

"No, I'll just wake you up by my screaming again after a few hours." I said.

"It doesn't matter; I'm not sleeping more than a couple of hours at the time eighter."

"Well you at least not act like some tornado when you have nightmare." I said and he smiled.

"No, I just wake up in panic." He said and our smiles faded. We were silent for a little while.

"I wish I could have one night without nightmares and without the fear and panic when you wake up." I said.

"The Capitol destroyed lives; it seemed so easy to be a victor. You won the games and then you got a lot of money, but it was definitely not worth it." He said.

"I would love to go back to my life before the games when we were poor and barely got food to the table than to these memories." I said and he nodded.

"But then I probably never would have spoken to you." Peeta said after a few seconds, I didn't come up with any smart answer, so I just remained silent. We were silent for a few more minutes. "We could… No, never mind." Peeta said.

"No tell me." I said and looked at him; he looked back at me with his ocean blue eyes.

"Remember at the victory tour, when we slept in each other's arms, the nightmares got much better." He said, but then he fast continued; "But I understand if you are not ready yet, or if you don't want to." I smiled at him.

"I would never say 'no' to that. Then I maybe would get some sleep." I said with a smile.

"Then lets sleep some more." I nodded and got up from the chair, I took a step and then I felt Peetas strong arms around me. I hugged him back, hard. When he let go we walked up to his bedroom and we fell asleep in each other's arms. For the first time since the games I slept more than a few hours in a row, and when I woke up, I almost felt happy.

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**Hope you enjoyed it ;D**

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**I think the chapters are gonna be a little shorter now, I don't know… We'll see ;)**

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**This chapter was a little lame, but I'm writing this half past twelve at night when I haven't slept properly in a week :p**

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**/FanficFanny**

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	9. Chapter 9

**Hi!**

**Hope you were waiting for an update ^^**

**I was about to complain that I got less reviews than usually from the last chapter, but I won't I just want to say thank you to you who reviewed!  
Special thanks to RainbowLuck, HogwartsMomOfPanem, Peetaalways, everlasting1286, keekee4ever! I love every single one of my readers, but those people who review… that means a lot to me! :D**

**Now I think I'll let you read. I don't even know what to write yet, it just comes to me while I'm writing ^.^**

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I yawned and started to turn around; I found Peetas body and snuggled closer to him, happy to not wake up alone. This was the best morning I had had in a very long time. Usually I woke up to someone screaming at me, someone hitting me or trying to rape me at 7am. Just the memories horrified me and I felt scared. I felt that Peeta was awake and I heard his breathing change.

"Good morni… Is everything okay?" He asked when he saw me, when he saw that I was terrified, I didn't answer, I just nodded. "Do you regret that you stayed here over the night?" he asked me. I looked at him like he was stupid.

"I definitely not regret that, I slept a few hours for the first night in a very long time, I just, remembered…" I said and looked away; Peeta put his arms around me and hugged me.

"That's the past, you don't have to think about it, but if it feels better, we can talk about it."

"Not now." I said. "I'm not ready yet, but I promise, if I ever want to talk about it with someone, you are the first person I'll talk to, you are the only person who ever could understand what my life has been like." I said and when I thought about it was true, Not only that we had been through a lot of things together, we had been through the hunger games and the war together and we had that in common, but being abused by someone you love is almost as bad, and he had been through that too, with his mom. Often when he were in school he could have big bruises or marks in his face, to the teachers it was "I walked in to a door…" But most people knew his mom, and most people knew that he got hit at home. After he tossed me the bread and his mom hit him when he burned it on purpose I actually felt some kind of hatred towards his mom, I never really liked her.

"Good, you know you can tell me everything." Peeta said and I nodded, I really knew it, he would never judge me because of what I had been through, because he had been there with me.

We lay in bed for a while, not talking much, just feeling like we finally had someone to be with again, but after a while he had to go to the bakery, so he got up and so did I. I started to change to my normal clothes and Peeta took a shower, when I had my clothes on I sat down on the bed, I didn't really know what to do. Then Peeta came out from the bathroom, he had some pants on, but no shirt, I think I flushed a little when I looked at him. He was so beautiful, his perfectly strong muscular arms and chest. But I could also see every little scar the Capitol had caused him, and even though I had a lot of scars myself I felt so sorry for him, I gasped for air when I saw some of the really bad ones, I couldn't understand what Snow had done to him.

"Eh, I just forgot my shirt." I just nodded but I actually felt tears in my eyes when I looked at him, he was so strong, and so brave. I got up from the bed and walked over to him and put my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly.

"I'm so sorry; I don't understand what the Capitol did to you." I said and hid my face in to his shoulder, he hugged me back.

"They are pretty ugly huh, my scars." He said and I nodded carefully.

"But don't worry, I just feel sorry for you, apart from that, it doesn't bother me, I have my own too." I said and stepped back and looked at him. "You should never feel ashamed of them, they show the world that you are strong and they make you to you." I said and he smiled a little. I pulled up my shirt a little to show him the scar on my left side where I got shot in district 2, it was still ugly and red and I decided that I could show it to him. When he saw it he gasped and his arms was around me.

"When did you get that?" he asked.

"Did anyone ever tell you that I went to district 2 and got shot by a man with a gun?" I said with the smallest smile on my face.

"Why do I not know about that?" he asked, I didn't want to answer that it was because he was locked in to a room, tied to his bed. "Was it when…" he asked and I just nodded. He stepped back and pointed at a huge scar on his arm.

"This is one of the scary ones, because I can't remember when I got it, or I can't remember it clearly, because of the hijacking. But I remember I was sitting on some kind of chair, maybe in the air, and we were talking about district 13." He said and I immediately remembered what he was trying to remember.

"You don't want to remember, I know what time you are talking about." I said and hugged him again.

"Please tell me, I hate to not remember clearly, the tracker jacker venom made many of my memories fuzzy and unclear, so I don't know what happened." He said. I sighed and decided that he had the right to know.

"You were sitting on some kind of chair, in the Capitol, it was some Capitol propaganda thing and you just looked horrible, Beetee broke in to the show and started to show clips of me and district 12, you got shocked and then you warned us about that district 13 would be attacked, the last thing you could see was blood and hear you scream." Tears came back to my eyes from the memory and I couldn't talk more, Peeta didn't say anything he just hugged me, even if it was he who had been through it. I also remembered that that time I had had Finnick with me to comfort me, he had been holding my hand and been on mine and Haymitch side when we started talking. Still I missed Finnick, I wanted to have him as a friend, someone that always was there for you, and understood how things were.

* * *

The phone started ringing so I walked to the kitchen. I had been at Peetas for a while, but then he had to leave, so I got home and did nothing, I didn't want to risk seeing Gale, so I did nothing, just sat there, staring. I picked up the phone and answered.

"Hi sweetheart." You could hear that he was drunk.

"Hello Haymitch." I said and sat down at a chair. "Why are you calling me? " I asked trying to not sound rude.

"Because I didn't want to walk all the way over to your house." he said.

"It's like 100 meters, maybe less." I said and he didn't answer.

"I actually have something to tell you. Gale wants to talk to you." He said, my heart froze to ice and I couldn't answer, I didn't want to see him, he had done so much bad to me, if he thought he could just talk to me like that; he was wrong. "You won't be alone with him; both I and his brothers will be there, I thought about taking Peeta there, but it wouldn't work out." he said.

"Who ever said I'd want to meet him?" I said coldly, I never wanted to see Gale again, but if Haymitch, Vick and Rory would all be there, it maybe would feel better.

"I really thought you wouldn't want it, but he said it was important, and Hazelle said that she and the little girl wanted to meet you too." He said, Oh Hazelle and Posy, I wanted to meet them too. I had known them so well, and now I hadn't seen them for years. How had they reacted to Gales change? I had no idea, I hadn't met them since mine and Gales wedding, and that was something I truly tried to forget about. We had been so happy back then, I remembered everything, our promises and our first dance as a married couple, I had cried out of happiness and my life had been almost perfect, or at least as good as it could be after everything I had been through. "Hallo? Are you coming or not?" Haymitch suddenly asked and I was pulled back to reality. I had to meet Gale, one last time, and tell him that it was over, and that I never wanted to see him again.

"Yes, but only if you promise you will be there with me." I said.

"Yeah, but please don't tell Peeta, it'll just cause trouble." He said.

"I won't." I said and then I hung up. I slowly put on my jacket and my boots and then I walked over to Haymitch' house. I just walked up the stairs and opened the door, this time it was unlocked so I stepped in. The smell hit me in the face and I started to breathe through my mouth. I walked in to the kitchen and Haymitch was sitting there with a bottle in his hand. He looked up at me.

"Ready to meet him?" he asked.

"I guess." I said we were silent for a few seconds.

"How could he even do that?" Haymitch asked, and now he was being caring and emotional again, it wasn't like him at all.

"I have no idea, but it actually would feel quite good to be able to hit him back." I said.

"You should, I'd be happy to see his face if you did it, but then again; we can't tie him to a chair just so that you can hit him, and if you just do it, he'll probably freak out." Haymitch said.

"I'm used to it." I said and I could see the pity in Haymitch face, he took a sip from the bottle and got up. We started walking towards the Seam, which were both of ours old home. I was very happy that we didn't had to pass my old home to get to Gales house, I wouldn't be able to handle that, not yet.

We both walked in silence, none of us said anything. I could see people stare from where they were standing, but it probably was a big thing to them that the Mockingjay was back home in district 12. Only one woman with two children that looked about to be in the age of four and seven did something else than stare, they waved, I smiled and waved back. It wasn't easy to just smile when I didn't want to, but they seemed happy. I actually appreciated that they didn't come to me and started talking, they respected me and I was happy for that.

When we reached Gales house Haymitch knocked and I took a deep breath, I didn't want to do this.

"Hello Haymitch and hi Katniss." Hazelle said when she opened the door and then she hugged me. I hugged her back and it felt good, it felt like a small, very small, peace of my old life was back, but then I remembered why I was here and stepped back. Hazelle looked at me with sadness in her eyes. I didn't say anything, but we both were sad about what had happened to Gale.

"Is she here?" I heard Posy's voice behind Hazelle who stepped aside. Posy walked over to me, and then she stopped. She had grown a lot since I saw her the last time, she was two years older and now she had started school and all. Her hair was longer now than the last time I met her, and her grey seam eyes were bright. She seemed a little shy, but then she took a long step over to me and hugged me, I hugged her back. When she stepped back she had tears in her eyes.

"Please come in." Hazelle said and stepped aside; we all walked in and sat down in the kitchen. I still didn't say anything; I couldn't come up with anything to say.

"What happened to him?" Posy whispered when we sat down, I don't think she was talking to me, but I shook my head.

"Katniss, what happened?" Hazelle asked and looked at me. I told her the story, but a little nicer version, because of the eight year old sitting next to me, I skipped the parts when he raped me or hit me when I woke him up by mistake. "I never thought anything like this would happen to him." Hazelle said and I shook my head.

"Me neither, I have no idea what went wrong." I said and looked down.

"Catnip, is that you?" I heard Gales voice somewhere in the house, and automatically I crouched a little from the sound. Haymitch noticed it and looked away, he had seen Gale beat me with his own eyes and still he got disgusted by this. I felt Posy's hand at my own and it calmed me a little. I couldn't even imagine how it felt for her. Her brother, the man she had been looking up to, since she had never met her dad, had suddenly changed, started to abuse his wife, becoming a totally different person.

"He won't come here; Rory and Vick are holding him in the living room." Hazelle said and I could see it was hard for her.

"I still have to talk to him…" I said with a smile without any happiness.

"Let me talk to her." I could hear Gale; he started to get impatient with his brothers. I got up from my chair and so did Haymitch, it was a little weird that he did this for me, but I was happy at the same time. I walked out of the kitchen and in to the living room. I looked at Vick and Rory and said hi to them then I looked at Gale. He was sitting at the sofa; his brothers were more or less holding his so that he would not walk over to me.

"Let me go, I want to talk to her." he said but they were still holding him there, Haymitch was standing behind me.

"Hi Gale." I said.

"Catnip I'm so sorry for yesterday, I'm so sorry, I…"

"Again." I said quietly and he looked at me, a little confused.

"What 'again'?" he asked.

"You're so sorry, you didn't know what happened and you still love me… I have heard that before, many times, I can't trust you Gale." I said.

"Can't trust me, don't you think I know that it took you about one day to leave me and then come back here to fuck Mellark?" he said and sounded angry. I just shook my head, I would be mad and scream, but I decided that it would be better to remain calm.

"Then you don't know anything at all. I left you and came here because I thought I could get away from being hurt." I said. Everyone was silent for a minute.

"I don't want to hurt you." He said, and then he jerked once and was free from the couch, he walked over to me and threw his arms around me and whispered in my ear;

"I'm sorry." I thought he would have threatened me, but he actually apologized, I still didn't trust him though. I got so shocked that I first didn't do anything, and then I realized that he was still hugging me and I pushed him away and backed one step.

"Keep away from me." I said and he looked hurt, good.

"I'm so sorry Catnip, after I met my family, I realized what I had done, and I regret it so much." He said and almost got tears to his eyes. I looked away.

"Well, it's a little too late for that now huh?" I said, and then the Gale I had learned to know and hate was back. I felt as he hit me in the face and how Rory, Vick and Haymitch separated us again.

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**Hope it was worth reading. This was written in several days, so the chapter changes a little as my mood changed when I was writing. I'm also quite tired, so you know… ^^**

**Well, you know he usual, thank you and reviews are appreciated :p**

**LOL**

**/FanficFanny **

**PS. Sorry if here are some flaws, as I have said before, I don't read through my chapters before I publish them, I don't like my own woork, so I just end up deletin everything if I read it, hope you understand ^^**


	10. Chapter 10

**Now I'm back! **

**If you are reading Happily ever after, I'm sorry I'm not updating, but I have been looking forward to writing this since I finished the last chapter :D Sorry it hasn't been sooner, but my dad said I was getting 'addicted to the computer' and 'that I should stop before it gets serious'… ^^ I don't know what he means xD But I had to prove him wrong...**

**Now; here comes the next chapter! ;D**

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Usually I would have been more than happy to be pulled away from him, I would have been happy that someone took him away from so that he couldn't hurt me, but right now, I was angry. He had lied to me again, and I couldn't take this again, we had done it a hundred times, he hit me, then he got 'so sorry' and was nice to me and told me he loved me, and then he hit me again. But this time it wouldn't be like that. Rory and Vick were still holding Gale and Haymitch had a tight grip of my arms; I shook him off and stepped forward. Haymitch tried to grab my hand again but I pulled it away.

"Don't" I said and looked at him, he looked a little worried, but I ignored it and turned my attention back to Gale, he looked surprised that I didn't squeal and hide as I used to. I took one step towards him. "Now I am tired of this. You did this to yourself Gale, no one else. I loved you more than anything, I-trusted-you." I said everything slowly so that he would listen to me. "I trusted you with my life, I was scared and fragile after everything I have been through, and you didn't understand that. There are only two people who can understand that; Peeta and Haymitch." I said and Gale started to look angry, I got tears to my eyes. "They understand because they were there with me, sure you was there doing the war, but do you know how it is to be thrown in to an arena to kill children, or to then be forced to do exactly as the president says or he will kill all you loved ones, or to be abused by the person you love and trust the most." A single tear run down my cheek, I hated it and dried it away, I was back to being the old me, I didn't like to seem weak in front of other people.

"I'm sor…"

"Never say that you are sorry Gale, never again, then you wouldn't have done it." I said and looked down.

"I am sorry."

"No, you are not." I said and somehow he managed to get away from his brothers again, he grabbed my arms.

"You will still come home with me." he said threatening, then Vick and Rory got him again, he let go of me but I stepped closer to him.

"I am home." I said and then I did something I had wanted to do for a very long time, I raised my hand, and with all the force I could get, I slapped him right in the face. Then I turned around and walked out of the house, I started to walk towards the Victory's village with fast steps, suddenly I heard a voice behind me.

"Hey, wait for me!" It was Haymitch, he was still quite fast and soon he was next to me. "Well done, if you wouldn't have done it, then I would." He said and sounded proud, I smiled a little, it hurt in my cheek but I ignored it. "How is your face?" he asked.

"Not so bad, it has been worse, and I'm used to it, but it will leave a mark, and it will leave Peeta upset." I said and he nodded, there was nothing more to say so we walked the rest of our way home in silence.

"Thank you Haymitch" I said silently before he walked up the stairs to his house, he turned around and looked at me.

"For what?" he asked and sounded confused.

"For letting me finish things with Gale, for being here for me and for letting me hit him." I said and smiled, he smiled back.

"That last part wasn't hard at all." He said and I smiled back.

"One of the best things I have done in a long time." I said, he grinned and then he went in, slowly I walked the last 100 meters to my house, when I came in I just sat down at a chair. I had no idea what to do, and it was a little more than an hour until Peeta would come home.

I started to think about what I had done. If Gale would find me now, he would kill me, I had tried to defend myself a few times, but now I really got to hit him, and he didn't even had the possibility to defend himself, but then I remembered all the horrible thing he had done to me and it felt good again. I could just hope that they would keep him locked in and not let him out of the house. He had lied to me again, I was used to it, but still it hurt every time, he had promised me so many times that he loved me and that he never would hit me again, but as always, he lied.

I never understood how Gale was thinking when he started hitting me, and did he really think that I would apologize him just like that. If I would ever meet him again, I would be dead, he would hurt me so much that no one could never recognize me, he would probably rape me over and over again, in the woods where no one could find us, no one could hear me scream for help. The thought panicked me so much that I had to think about something else, but it was too late, everything that was on my mind was all the memories from Gale, hurting me, over and over again. I had no idea what I had done wrong in the first place, we argued sometimes but when he started hitting me it got serious, and now I hated him.

I sat there thinking about what he had done to me and what he would do to me if we met, and suddenly our wedding came in to my mind again. We were _happy_, I wanted to go back to that time, or even further back and change that I ever left with him, I would have wanted to stay in district 12 from the very beginning, but it is too late now.

* * *

I heard a sound and turned around, it was the door that opened, I had been sitting in the kitchen, crying for several hours now, and when I heard the door, I fast dried away the tears, I didn't want to seem weak, like I couldn't handle Gale, but when I saw who it was it didn't matter anymore, it was the only person who could see me cry. When he looked at me, and saw the tears in my face he just opened his arms, I got up and walked over to him without hesitation. He pulled me into a big hug and I started to cry against his shoulder, he didn't ask anything, he didn't say anything, he was just holding me.

After about 15 minutes of crying I stepped back, he looked at me and I saw concern in his eyes, then he saw the mark on my cheek and he looked understanding.

"You have talked to Gale." He didn't say it as a question, he just said it. I nodded and he hugged me again. "It's okay, you're safe now." He said with a calming voice. I just sniffled into his shoulder a few more times before I stepped back and dried the tears away from my face. I hated to cry. "What did he do to you?" Peeta asked and looked at me.

"Apologized…" I saw in his face that he was about to say that it was a good thing, because I hadn't told him that it happened a lot. "…again." I continued. He looked a little confused. "He used to do that, hit me, apologize, and hit me again." I said with a totally humorless smile. "But you get used to it."

"Skip the apologize part and I know what it's like…" he said and I got reminded that he had been hit too. I didn't know what to say, but before I could think, I said;

"What was your mother like?" then I realized that he maybe didn't want to talk about it like I didn't want to talk about Gale… "You don't have to answer if you don't want to." I added and looked down. I felt his hand on my cheek and he made me look at him again.

"I'll tell you, I want to tell my whole life story to you, but can we sit down?" he asked and I nodded. He sat down and I put on some tea for us. I sat down across from him and he looked at me.

"First of all you have to understand that my mother was a horrible person…" he started but I cut him off.

"I know, I knew her, and I think I know what a horrible person is…" I said and he smiled little and looked down.

"Of course." He said and then he started "She was mean, she often hit me and my brothers, the best thing she knew was gossip and she hated almost everyone, and still, somehow, I loved her." he said and looked at me. First I couldn't understand it, how he could have loved her, but then I realized that you just love your mother, I had always loved my mother too, even if I didn't trust her, I still loved her. Peeta continued. "She started hitting us when I was about four years old. I don't remember the time before that, how it was, but my brother said that they missed that time." He sighed and I could see that he missed his brothers. I had no idea what to say, but the tea was ready so I got up from my chair and pour two cups of tea to us and put on the table. He took a sip from the tea and started talking again. "I remember once, I must have been around six years old and I dropped a bread at the floor, my mom got crazy, she hit me and my dad just looked away, he hated when she hit us, but there was nothing he could do, he was too kind."

"Like you." I said.

"Huh?" he didn't hear me.

"Like you, you are too kind too." I said and looked at him. He didn't answer anything; he just continued telling me about his family.

"Yeah, so of course I started crying and run to my room, that night I got no dinner, because she thought that I didn't deserve it after what I had done." We were silent for a few seconds; his mother threw away his food, when there were a lot of people starving out in the district.

"She was horrible." I didn't know if it was the right thing to say but it just slipped out of my mouth, and it was Peeta, he would never do anything bad to me anyway. He nodded once.

"You know that time, with the bread and you…" he started and I nodded, "because it wasn't a Capitol memory, right?" he said.

"No Peeta, it was real." I said and remembered the game we had played with him after he came back from the Capitol. He smiled a little too.

"When she saw that dropped the breads in the fire she came to me screaming about hoe I did everything wrong and that I didn't even could take out some bread from the oven. She slapped me in the face but probably thought it wasn't enough, because then she took a rolling pin and hit me with it, that's why I had pretty ugly marks a long time after that. After I had tossed you the breads and went back inside, I felt horrible, I should have gone out in the rain to you and not tossed them like to some animal, but right then I was just scared of my mother."

"Peeta it saved my family's life, it doesn't matter how I got them, and you saved my life." I said and he smiled a little.

"And I'm very glad I did. When I came inside my dad was staring at me, and I realized that he had seen that I gave the bread to you, but he just smiled and looked proud."

"Your dad was a good person." I said. "Just like you." He smiled.

"I got most of my personality from my dad, my oldest brother, Jacob got his from mom and Declan was somewhere in the middle." He smiled.

"What was your brothers like?" I asked.

"They were always nice to me, even if Jacob quite easily became angry. We were always joking, and they always teased me because they knew that I loved you and they thought I was lame. They loved me and I loved them, but they didn't love me enough to take my place at the reaping like you did…" he stopped when he realized that I probably still wasn't over Prim, and to be honest I hadn't said her name for a long time, but I thought about her every day. "Anyway, I wouldn't have let them go instead of me anyway, I wanted to protect you." He said, I was waiting for the uncomfortable feeling that usually came when he said things like that to come, but it didn't, I just felt loved and not alone, and there was something more, something I wasn't sure I had ever felt before.

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**Hope you liked it :) I didn't but I'm too lazy to rewrite it, so more will come in the next chapter ;)**

**I want to apologize so much!**

**First the update sucks, and then I give you a short chapter… But I'm quite busy now, and I feel like I have no inspiration at all… So if you have any ideas, please share them with me!**

**The update will probably be a little bad now for a while, but soon it is Christmas and then I'll have time again xD**

**Hope you liked it!**

**And you know that I love reviews ^^**

**/FanficFanny**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hope you have been waiting for this chapter :)**

**I'm sorry the pauses between the chapters just gets longer… but it'll be better, soon! :)**

**I don't know how to continue this story now, I have a few things that I want to put here before it ends, but I want to have something else too… So this chapter may be a little lame… depends on what you like ;D**

**I think it'll just be some more Everlark fluff ^^ Because I… LOVE… EVERLARK! x))**

**Now I'll let you read :)**

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I sat up and breathed heavily, I was silent and I had not screamed, but I was still prepared for the hit, before I recognized where I were.

"Peeta?" I whispered. "Peeta?" I said a little louder, I wanted him to be there, to hold me right now. I had had a nightmare again, as always, but it always felt better with his strong arms around me, protecting me. "Peeta?" I said and my throat was feeling thick. I didn't know where all of this crying had come from. I sobbed once and then I felt Peetas arms around me, he was sitting behind me and I leaned back on him, slowly calming down.

"Shh… just calm down Katniss, I'm here, calm down…" he whispered all the time, and it helped a lot. After a while I was totally calm, leaning against his chest. He was leaning his chin on my head and picking in my hair. "Did you have a nightmare?" he asked after a little while.

"Yes." I whispered.

"So did I. Thank you for waking me up." he said and I could feel him smiling. I wasn't sure if he was thanking me for waking him up from the nightmare or for waking him up when I was having a hard time.

"What was your dream about?" I asked, even if I probably knew the answer.

"You." He said. "I dreamt that the Capitol took me away from you, that they tortured you like they did to me… and made me watch." He whispered. I almost felt egoistic for not dreaming about him, even if I couldn't decide that myself. But his dream; I more or less know how it felt. I dreamt about losing Rue. Over and over again she came to me, telling me to save her, and I couldn't, I could just watch her die.

"I'm here now." I whispered and turned my head to look at him. His eyes were even beautiful in the dark.

"I wish… No never mind." He said with a shy smile. But when he did like that, I had to know what he wanted to say.

"What?" I asked him.

"No, it's nothing." He said. "You'd just feel uncomfortable…" he said.

"Tell me Peeta." I said.

"I wish you would always be here with me, that we would always be together." He said, almost… shyly. I smiled at him.

"Me too." I said, and realized, that it was actually true. I couldn't live without him. Now when I had finally found him, I couldn't ever lose him again.

"Katniss, you don't have to lie to me." he said and looked deeply in to my eyes.

"I'm not. I want to be with you. I want to have you in my life. I want to always be able to know that you are there for me…" I said and my voice trailed off when I realized how that sounded. It sounded like I was in love with him. But I didn't care, every word I said was true, I wanted to have him in my life, forever. He was just staring at me, and without any words, he was slowly leaning towards me. I stared into his eyes and started to lean again him too. We were doing it slowly, he; probably if I was going to change my mind, I, because I wanted to make this moment as long as possible.

When our lips met, I felt a feeling I had been feeling once or twice in my life. The first time in the cave, in our first hunger games, the second time at the beach in the Quarter quell. It felt like I wanted him closer, like I never wanted him to leave. I had never felt this way with Gale. Not even when he was the old sweet Gale. I never loved him like I loved Peeta. And I could finally confess to myself. I loved Peeta.

I inhaled sharply and threw my arms around his neck. I wanted him closer. I wanted to feel the warmth of his body and the heat of his kisses. First we were kissing lightly, but I deepened the kiss. I wanted him. I turned around so that I was completely facing him and locked my arms behind him. The kiss was warm and I couldn't get enough, but when we finally had to stop to breathe, he put his forehead against mine and looked into my eyes.

"Katniss…" he whispered. "…so beautiful." I smiled a little and he smiled back. "You are the most beautiful creature ever, from the inside out." He said, and even if I didn't agree with him, I couldn't start arguing about that now. "I love you Katniss." He whispered, immediately I saw regret in his eyes, but probably from my face expression. I knew I loved him, it was no question about that anymore, but I couldn't say it out loud, not yet. Something bad happened to everyone I loved, and nothing could happen to Peeta, then I would die. I couldn't tell him that I loved him, not yet. "I'm sorry, if you're not ready yet, I understand that…" he started but I cut him off by kissing him again.

"It's not that…" I said and I didn't know what it was really. Maybe I just wasn't used to hearing it from someone actually meaning it. "I just got… surprised." I said and smiled a little, he smiled back, but the smile didn't really reach his eyes.

"You don't have to love me back, I don't expect anything from you, and I understand if you're not ready for this yet…" he said and pulled his head back so that we were not touching anymore, instantly I felt alone and wanted to feel the warmth of his flesh on me again. I grabbed his one hand with both of mine.

"I am ready for this, I want to have you here, so please don't worry about me, I'm not the only one who should move on." I said and he rolled his eyes at me.

"I have moved on, now afterwards, I don't even think that I ever loved Karen." He said and I was just staring at him. "At least not after you came back, I couldn't even think of anything else than you…" he said and his eyes were sparkling.

"I don't know what to say…" I answered honestly.

"Then don't say anything at all." He said before kissing me again. I kissed him back and after a few seconds I felt his tongue on my lower lip, asking for entrance, which I gladly accepted. I opened my mouth and felt his tongue in my mouth. I moaned quietly and flushed a little. Around one minute later I had to breathe again. He gently sucked my lower lip before pulling away again. We were just looking at each other. A strand of hair had fallen down over his forehead and I just had to put it back with the rest of his hair.

That was another thing I loved about him; his hair. It was a beautiful blonde color and the curls were adorable. I loved playing with his hair.

"We probably should sleep some more." Peeta whispered and I threw an eye at what time it was, it was 3:40.

"Probably…" I said with a small smile and lay down at my side of the bed. Peeta lied down behind me and put an arm around me and kissed my shoulder. I hadn't felt this loved and protected since my father died, and right now, I really needed it, after all this with Gale and all. I turned around to look at him, and I met his beautiful, sea-blue eyes.

"Sleep my beauty; I will protect you from all the bad things in world and all the nightmares." He said and I smiled and carefully and lightly kissed him.

"I never want to lose you Peeta." I whispered when my eyelids started to feel heavy. "Stay with me." I knew I had said this before and I knew what he would answer.

"_Always_" he whispered and I fell asleep, with my head on his chest and feeling the warmth of him.

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**I'm sorry! This chapter is so short! But the next one will be longer! I promise!**

**Hope you liked it anyway! I didn't really knew what to write…**

**Now I already have the next chapter in my head, so it won't take too long before I update again. I'll try to update at least once a week, maybe twice if I can. :)**

**Have a good day/week/month!**

**You know that I love reviews :D**

**/FanficFanny ;)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi!**

**I'm trying to update more often, but it's not going too good… :/**

**Now I'd be so happy if you could check out my other story 'Happily ever after'. It's an older project I have been working on, but it's not half as good as this one… It sucks in the beginning, but it gets better! I would appreciate it a lot if you'd check it out :D**

**I don't know what more to say, right now it's 3am here, so I don't know if this is so good… x'D**

* * *

I woke up in Peetas protective arms with a smile on my lips. Tonight something had happened, I had to admit that. I could finally say to myself that I loved Peeta. It would still take some time before I would be able to say it out loud, but hopefully, it would happen sooner or later. I turned around and leaned my head against Peetas chest, he was warm and he smelled good. He mumbled something in his sleep; it sounded like he said my name.

I couldn't help but smile, I wanted to stay here forever with him, even if I knew I couldn't. He mumbled something more before he slowly opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Good morning." He said and looked a little surprised that I was lying so close to him. He probably thought that I was regretting the kisses from last night.

"Good morning." I said with a smile. He was still looking at me like he was expecting me to get up and walk away. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing… it's just… you don't feel bad for the kisses last night, do you?" he said, I rolled my eyes at him.

"Of course I don't. Then I wouldn't be here right now…" I smiled at him.

"Good." We were just lying in bed for a while, he was picking with my hair and I was just staring into the wall. None of us said anything in a long while, but at last I broke the silence.

"Peeta?" I said.

"Hm?" he asked.

"When do you have to go the bakery?" I asked. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted to stay here all day.

"Around eleven, so we have to get up after an hour." He said and I sighed.

"I don't want you to leave." I said. When I realized I had actually said that out loud I blushed. He smiled at me.

"You are so beautiful when you blush." He said. "You are always beautiful." That made me blush even more, he just smiled. We were silent again for a few minutes, I was just thinking.

"Peeta… when is your birthday?" I asked him, it was a little awkward to ask, but he had never told me.

"12th of November." He answered.

"But that's in two weeks! Why didn't you told me that your birthday is coming up so soon?" I asked him and looked at him.

"I didn't think it was so important, I don't care about my birthday really…" he answered.

"Okay, but we will still do something extra; maybe invite Haymitch over for dinner or something…" I said, his face lighted up and he smiled at me. "What now?" I asked him, because I didn't think it was because we maybe would have Haymitch come over that he got that happy.

"That means you'll stay with me." he said and I smiled at him.

"Of course I will. I will never lose you again. I will always stay with you." I said with a smile. Then I leaned in for a kiss that he happily answered. It was so natural, we belonged together, and I couldn't understand why I ever left him.

* * *

"If he is yours, I respect that, I don't love him, I would never try to separate you." I heard a voice behind me. I had followed Peeta to the bakery and then I had kissed him before I left. I could never live without him. "Of course you don't love him, you are just playing with his feelings again." The voice continued. I slowly turned around. Karen.

"Karen, go home." I said. I didn't say it to be mean, but I was in a good mood, and if she would make me angry today I maybe would beat her up. The old Katniss was back, the girl on fire was back.

"No! You promised that you didn't try to separate me and Peeta! You promised that you didn't love him!" she screamed.

"I didn't, but I do now." I said and started to feel annoyed.

"What did you do to him?" she asked me.

"I didn't do anything; it isn't my fault that he loves me." I said.

"I won't give up! He will come back to me!" she said.

"Yeah, good luck with that." I said and started to walk away. Even I could hear that I sounded like a bitch, but I didn't care.

"Don't walk away from me your…"

"What were you going to call me?" I snapped and turned back to her.

"Coward." She finished. I almost started laughing, we were around 20 years old, and the worse thing she could call me was a 'coward'.

"Who are you calling a coward?" I asked her calmly.

"You! You aren't even brave enough to stand here talking to me." she said.

"No… that's the problem… Because it's not like I have faced death and wars and hunger games and that stuff…" I said sarcastically.

"You were not alone in that war, I was there too!" she said. "I lived in district 3 back then." She continued. "You just think you are so special because you were the mockingjay, but to tell you the truth, you're not! No one really likes you." She said, I just raised my eyebrows.

"Should we ask Peeta about that thing?" I asked. I absolutely couldn't take her seriously; she was acting like a 10 year old.

"No, he doesn't know anything; he actually is quite stupid, if he wants to be with you." I just nodded at her. About that she was a little right, but I was too egoistic to let him go now… "Why does he even want to be with you? You have to be really good in bed." She continued, and I don't know why, but I blushed. She studied my face when I blushed, then she started laughing. "You are not having sex?! I can't believe it!" she screamed.

"That's none of your business." I hissed but I could feel that I blushed even more.

"Then you don't know how fantastic he is in bed… He is so gentle, but perfect. He knows exactly what to do, and he gives you so much pleasure…" I could hear that she was just trying to make me angry, and she was good at it. Not that I cared, we weren't so long in our relationship yet that we would make love, I really had no idea where we were standing, but still her words affected me.

"Could you be quiet?" I snapped at her.

"Why? Is it too much for you?" she asked with some baby voice.

"No, you're annoying." I said.

"You know what Katniss? I don't like you, I did before, but after you were so mean to me, since you hated me so much that you stole my boyfriend, I hate you! I hate you and everyone you have ever talked to, except Peeta." she said and again she sounded like a child.

"Okay." Was all I said, I didn't really care.

"I even hate your sister. But oh… she's dead, I forgot." She said, and that was the first thing she said that really hurt. I didn't talk about Prim with people, not with anyone, not yet. And the person who was brave enough to insult Prim, I would gladly… take care of. "I hated how everyone thought she was perfect, with her ugly blue eyes, and disgusting blonde hair. I'm glad she died, then she won't be here destroying our lives anymore…" she said.

"How did you even know her?" I asked.

"Propos from 13…" she said, and then I couldn't stop myself anymore, she didn't know me, and she definitely didn't know Prim, she had no right to say these things. She could insult me as much as she wanted to, but say one bad thing about my sister and I would beat the crap out of you. I jumped at her and hit her in the face, she immediately fell to the ground, but soon she was on her feet again. She hit me. It didn't hurt much at all, I was used to Gales hard fists in my face, and compared to him, she was weak.

"You have no idea what my sister was like." I screamed before I pushed her. People started to gather around us, but no one tried to stop us. We were just about 20 meters away from the bakery. Karen took a step towards me and hit me in the face before I could turn away. She got a good hit and I could feel my nose start bleeding. I got so angry that I walked towards her and wrestled her down to the ground; I was sitting on her and hitting her in the face. Suddenly she got grip of a stone and hit me in my left temple. I got dizzy and lost concentration for a few seconds, during those seconds she managed to push me to the ground and start hitting me instead. I could feel my lip start bleeding too and I probably got a black eye, but I fought back and her nose cracked very satisfying when I hit her in the face. I had almost forgotten why I was fighting, but then she said;

"If your slut to sister could see you now she would be really disappointed. A fighter… pfft… can't even take me down, and you're supposed to be so strong." The people who were standing around us was screaming and almost cheering! It didn't happen much in district 12 so this was a big event, but still no one tried to stop us. "You are weak!" she screamed in my face. I spat her in the face. It was a little saliva, but most blood, she got so shocked that I could punch her in the face again and she fell. Again it was me sitting on her. I pressed her arms down to the ground.

"Give up!" I said.

"Never!" she screamed before she started to scream and kick and trash around. Suddenly I felt someone grab me around my waist and lift me away from there, I was trashing around. I wanted to show that bitch that you would never say a bad word about my family without getting punished.

"Peeta! You came to save me!" Karen screamed when I was put down at the ground. I turned around and it was Peeta who had lifted me away. Karen got to her feet and started to stumble against us.

"Why did you lift me away? I could handle her?" I almost yelled at Peeta, he looked a little shocked. He didn't answer me before Karen was standing next to us. She threw her arms around Peetas neck and kissed him. I got so disgusted that I couldn't react first, Peeta was too nice to do much but he carefully tried to push her away. When she did let go she turned towards me.

"I told you he loves me!" she said, but the she was lying at the ground again. I had gotten so angry that I just slapped her in the face. I felt a little proud of myself actually. Now she probably wouldn't say anything bad to me in a while… "Peeta, help me up." she whimpered. Then Peeta grabbed my arm and started to pull me through the people who were now starting to go in different directions. He led me in to the bakery and without hesitation to the kitchen where he made me sit down at a chair while he went to get some tissue paper. When he came back he sat down at another chair across from me. Then he started to clean my face. He was very careful and gentle when he was cleaning away all the blood from my face.

"Katniss, what were you thinking?" he asked me seriously.

"She provoked me. She said that she would get you back..." I said, even if that wasn't the reason I jumped on her.

"And you believed her?" he asked.

"No… Maybe, I don't know…" I said, because I wasn't sure.

"Of course I won't go back to her; I love you, more than anything." He said and I smiled a little, it hurt in my lip, but I didn't care. "Was that it?" he asked and my smile disappeared.

"She also offended Prim." I said quietly, and somehow, it was a relief to say her name out loud again after all these years. I had missed the sound of it. I had missed her. And no one would ever say anything bad about her. I missed her so much, every day. I just wanted to have her here, to hug her and tell her that I love her.

"Did she really say that?" Peeta asked seriously, looking at me. I smiled weakly without humor at him.

"I know it was stupid to beat her for that, but I couldn't control it, no one insults _her_." I said and Peeta nodded.

"Even I would have hit her if she would have said that to me." he said and dried away a tear that was running down my cheek. He carefully dabbed on my lip with the tissue to get rid of the last blood, then he leaned over to kiss me, and it felt just as good as last night and that morning. I deepened the kiss a little and put my hand at the back of his head, grabbing his hair. I just loved his hair. But soon he leaned out of the kiss. He smiled a little and I smiled back.

"I have missed this." He said and I nodded.

"I have missed you." I said and carefully kissed him again.

"Never leave me again." He whispered.

"Never." I promised.

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**Yep, so… hope you liked it…**

**I didn't know what to do with Karen, but I thought a fight would be good, plus that I have to learn to write fight scenes…**

**Review?**

**Last chapter had a lot less reviews and favorites and followers than usual… If you didn't like it, then at least tell me what you didn't like…**

**Sorry it took me a while to write… :/ **

**Tell me what you thought! :)**

**/Fanficfanny**

**PS. Check out my tumblr: thehgfanni (Do t) tumblr (Do t) com**

**Of course you have to replace the "(Do t)" with a real dot… :D**

**Keep reading and reviewing ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Here I am again! After a huge wait… Sorry for that.**

**This is the last chapter of this story, after this it will only be an epilogue :)**

**Sorry that this chapter is jumping in time a little ;D**

**Thank you for the response from the last chapter :) ILY ;)**

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"Happy Birthday Peeta." I say when I wake up and turn towards him. He looks at me.

"Thank you." He smiled and I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. This was natural now. I liked the kisses. I liked the feeling of knowing that I loved him. I hadn't told him yet, but I knew it.

"So… what are we doing today?" he asked and I looked at him.

"We're going on a picnic." I smiled.

"Where?" he asked.

"You'll see when we get there." I smiled. We just lay in bed, cuddling for a while. Sharing sweet kisses and I felt happy. For the first time since my father had died, I felt happy. I felt protected. I felt loved. But after a while we had to get up. I packed down some food to take with us and then I took my hunting boots and my dad's old jacket on. When we walked out of the house I took Peetas hand. His hand was warm and it was cold outside. But it didn't matter, where we were going, we would be warm. We started walking in to the forest, hand in hand, talking. When we walked past the meadow I heard voices. I was quite surprised, not many people went there. We stopped at the edge of the threes and looked at the two persons playing there. It was a girl and a boy, the girl was around 10 and the boy was my age. I couldn't see who it was but they both had black hair. It took me almost a minute before I recognized Gale. He was running around, playing with Posy. I squeezed Peetas hand.

"It's Gale." I whispered. First he looked at me, but when he looked again, he recognized them too.

"Should we go?" he asked me, but then Posy turned around looking at us. It took her a few seconds to recognize me, and then she waved. I smiled a little and waved back. Gale saw that Posy had stopped and he turned around too. First I saw the anger in his face. Then he closed his eyes, and breathed heavily. When he opened his eyes, he looked like the old Gale again. My Gale. My brother. He even smiled, but I didn't return the smile. He had hurt me too many times, I couldn't trust him. Posy turned towards him and asked if she could come to talk to us.

"Yes, go, but you'll have to go alone." He said. I was surprised. Still I would never forgive him. Posy danced over to us. She smiled at me.

"Hi Posy." I said.

"Hi, where are you going?" she asked, she glanced over at Peeta and looked a little insecure. I realized it was probably the first time she met him since district 13.

"It's Peetas birthday, we're going to have a picnic." I said.

"Happy birthday." She said shyly to Peeta. He smiled at her.

"Thank you."

"Posy!" Gale said and Posy turned to look at him.

"I have to go." She said and I smiled at her. I felt a little worried. What if Gale got abusive again now? Would he hit Posy? She walked to him and grabbed his hand. They threw one more look at us. Posy smiled but Gale looked sad, like he was sad about me being with Peeta. Gale had his chance; I would never take him back anyway. I would never forgive him for what he did to me.

"Where are we going?" Peeta asked me after a while.

"What?" I asked, I had been in thoughts about Gale. How could he have changed that much just in a few weeks? I would never forgive him. Never. He had hurt me too much. He had left too much scars in me. But I didn't understand.

"I asked where are we going?" he said with a smile, I smiled back and grabbed his hand.

"You'll see." I smiled at him again.

"But does it take long time from here?" he asked.

"Now, we are soon there." I said and pecked his lips quickly. When I pulled away he put his hand at the back of my head.

"I wasn't finished with that kiss." He smiled.

"And I wasn't finished with this walk." I said and started walking again, but still holding his hand. We were quite close already, it would only be a five minute walk from here, but I understood his leg must be hurting.

* * *

I took a deep breath when I saw the cabin. It felt so weird to not be alone here. The sun was hidden behind the clouds but it was still bright to come out of the forest and look at the lake. Peeta was still holding my hand and he walked and stopped beside me.

"It's beautiful." He whispered.

"I know." I said. "I used to come here to think. Still do sometimes." I said. He looked at me and smiled a little.

"Is here where you learned to swim?" he asked and I smiled back and nodded.

"Yeah, my father always took me here when I was a child." I said and he squeezed my hand. We were both looking out over the lake.

"You miss him a lot, don't you?" he said and I nodded.

"He was my role model. I wanted to become exactly like my dad. He was such a strong person who everyone liked." I said and Peeta turned to me and hugged me.

"You are just like him." I smiled weakly against his shoulder.

"Not as much as you are like your father." I said when he pulled away. He smiled weakly at me.

"I miss my family." He said and I nodded and intertwined our fingers. "Especially my brothers and my dad." He said.

"You know I miss Prim." I wasn't sure if he hears what I said because my voice crackled when I said her name. I wasn't used to talk about her yet. He leaned towards me and planted a small kiss on my lips.

"But we have each other." He said, leaning his forehead against mine.

"Always." I whispered with a little smile.

* * *

"We should sleep." Peeta said after a while of silence. We were sitting outside the cabin at the little stairs. He had his arms around me and I was leaning against him. I had been thinking about all the memories had from this place. All the times my father had taken me here. When I was little and he thought me how to swim. Had been afraid the first time he took me out in the water, but as I grew older I loved to swim. "What time is it?" Peeta asked. I looked up at the stars.

"Around 10pm maybe." I said, it was a little hard to tell because it was getting dark outside.

"Then we should go inside." Peeta said and I nodded and sat straight. He rose up and gave me his hand. I grabbed it and he pulled me up.

"Thank you." I said with a small smile. We went inside and he sat down on the 'bed'. It was just a few quilts and stuff I had brought here a few days earlier. I blew out one of the candles that were standing on the table before I walked over to him. We were going to sleep in front of the fire place so that it wouldn't be cold. I sat down next to his warm body and he put one of the blankets around us.

"This has been the best birthday in my life." He said and I smiled against him.

"Happy birthday." I said and kissed his cheek.

"And since it is my birthday I want a present." He said with a smile. For some reason I felt nervous when he said that.

"And what would that be?" I asked him.

"A proper kiss." He said. And that was something I was very willing to give him. I leaned closer to him and put my lips against him. I could feel him smile against my mouth. My hand disappeared up in his hair, as always. His hands wandered down my back and I opened my mouth. A small moan escaped my mouth when I could feel his tongue in my mouth. This was perfect. He was perfect. In that moment I was happy I had been through everything I had been through. We had each other. He would always be there for me, he would never leave me again, and I would never leave him. I pulled back for a second and Peeta looked at me with concern in his eyes.

"Is anything wrong?" he asked me worried.

"No… I have to tell you something." I said and took a deep breath. I slowly counted to ten in my head and Peeta waited patiently.

"You can tell me anything Katniss." He said.

"You… I care about you, a lot." I took another deep breath.

"I care about you too…" he started.

"Peeta… I-I love you." I said. It felt weird to say it. I hadn't ever felt like this before. Sure I had told Gale I loved him too, but it didn't feel like this. This felt good. Like my heart grew inside of me and my whole body got warm.

"Katniss…" He started before I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him passionately again.

"I love you so much Peeta and I have done it for a long time now." I said to him when we paused to breathe. He was just looking at me with his incredibly blue eyes.

"You know I love you too Katniss. I love you with my life. I have never felt like this for anyone else, never. You are my life. Everything I do, I think about you. And I never want to lose you. Never." He said.

We were kissing and talking for about an hour before I fell asleep on his arm. Finally I was home.

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**So this was a short last chapter. I'm so sorry for the huge wait. You have been amazing, but I simply don't have time anymore. I might start another one when I have more time, but sine this from the beginning was just meant to be a small project, I don't want to make it too long.**

**I have appreciated every single little review, favorite and follow, plus all you others that have been reading.**

**Sorry it ended so quickly... :/**

**It will still come an epilogue to this, and I hope I will get it out to you soon :)**

**Have an amazing 2013! You are the most amazing people ever.**

**/FanficFanny**


	14. Epilouge

**Hi guys!**

**So this is the epilogue, then it's all over.**

**You are perfect and I love you!**

**I'm really sorry this has taken so long, I don't have time or inspiration to write anymore, but I'll do what I can to finish this. **

**I'm sorry this is so short, but I just want it as when Katniss is old, she remembers these little moments with her and Peeta. As you may have noticed I have written the whole story like that. So this is just a few thoughts what Katniss maybe thought when she was about 50.**

**Thank you!**

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The door opens and in comes Dahlia, hand in hand with Finn. Finn is carrying Prim on his arm and Annie is walking behind them.

"Mom." Dahlia says and hugs me. I hug her back and smile.

"Hi, come in." I step aside to let them all come in. I put on some tea while everyone are sitting down and small talking, around 15 minutes later the door opens again and in comes Xander with his girlfriend Leah. They are holding hands and Xander gives me a one armed hug. Leah hugs me too but her stomach comes in her way a little, she's already 7 months pregnant. Everyone is sitting in the kitchen, small talking. We meet at least once a month, all of us together. Everyone lives here in district 12 now except from Annie, but she is here visiting her son and grandchild. Peeta is holding my hand and he is looking at me a little now and then. I'm sitting with Prim in my knee and looking at my beautiful family.

I feel so happy with this family. My daughter who found a good husband. They grew up together and when they grew older, it turned out to be love. I smiled when I remembered how Peeta felt about that in the beginning. But he was happy it was Finn and not someone who could be bad for his little girl.

I remember when Xander was only a few days old and Dahlia was such a proud sister

_"Can I go in and meet mommy and the baby?" I heard Dahlias voice from outside the door. The little baby boy in my arms had just fallen asleep and I was just sitting there singing to him._

_"I'll check if they are awake." I heard Peeta say to Dahlia. He opened the door and looked in at us._

_"Can we come in?" He asked with a little smile and I nodded. Peeta walked over to our bed and sat down next to me. Dahlia came over and sat in Peetas lap. _

_"Can I kiss him?" she asked after a few seconds of staring at the beautiful little human being in my arms._

_"Of course you can." I said and smiled widely at her. She giggled a little and her black curls were jumping around her head. She slowly and carefully leaned forward and kissed the little baby's cheek. She leaned back and looked at him with a proud smile. _

_"I kissed the baby!" she said. I laughed quietly and so did Peeta._

"_What a great sister you are" Peeta said._

As they grew older they started fighting sometimes, like all siblings do, but they could also be like the best of friends. They were often playing together and many times they came along really well. As they grew older and started school, they could go from worst enemies to best friends within seconds. And the day they found their loved ones were days when they both were happy. The first time Dahlia went out with Finn, she talked to Xander before so she would know what to say and what to do. And vice versa, when Xander first started going out with Leah he got a lot of help from his sister.

I remember the first time we got to visit Prim.

_"Mom, Dad? You can come in now." Dahlia said and we walked in the room. She was sitting on her bed, next to Finn, an exact copy of Finnick but with black hair, who was holding his arm around his wife and in her arms was a very little baby. I felt tears in my eyes and Peeta squeezed my hand. I sat down at the edge of the bed and looked at my little girl who was holding her little girl in her arms._

_"She is so beautiful." I said and looked down at the little baby with black hair. The baby was asleep._

_"Do you want to hold her?" Finn asked and smiled at me. I looked at him and then at Dahlia._

_"I know how it is to get the first little baby, you don't want someone else to hold her for the first days." I said with a smile and remembered when Dahlia had been new born. _

_"No, you can hold her, for a little while." She said with a smile and gave me the little human being. I took her in my arms and looked down at her. I could feel Peeta press a soft kiss at my temple when we were looking down at our grandchild. The little girl in my arms yawned with her little mouth and opened her eyes. She definitely had Finns, and Finnicks, eyes. I looked over at my daughter and smiled when I thought about how lucky I was._

_"We're thinking about naming her Prim, like your sister." She said and looked at me. I could see she was waiting for a reaction. I had no idea what to say but I felt complete happiness._

_"Really?" I asked after a few seconds and she nodded._

_"But only if it's okay for you." Finn said._

_"Of course it is." I said and tried to hold back the tears of happiness._

I smiled when I thought about it and let down Prim from my lap who run around the table, over to her dad and stood there, jumping and asking him to go play with her. Finn smiled down at his daughter but told her that he wouldn't go play with her now. You could see her get disappointed.

"I'll play with you Prim." I heard Xander rise from his chair and I smiled at him. You could see Prim shine up when she ran over to her uncle who lifted her up in the air and then up on his shoulders. Everyone where smiling at them.

In that moment I felt complete happiness. I leaned against my gorgeous husband who kissed my cheek and smiled over at Annie who were looking at her grandchild playing with our son. I smiled. I couldn't have wished for anything to be different.

* * *

**Thank you!**

**It was great writing this and I really have loved you all.**

**Hope you enjoyed the last part.**

**I will always love and remember all of you!**

**Thank you! xx**


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